I’m still waiting for Victoria’s Secret to hire Rachel Cook here. (I mean, she’s already got the boobs, so I don’t know what else they’re waiting for.) And until then, I’m just going to keep posting more sexy lingerie photoshoots from the busty brunette and bugging her to date me. What if that’s been the missing element all this time? I mean, sure, having a C-list blogger boyfriend probably isn’t a major selling point. But it can’t hurt, right? I’m willing to give it a shot if she is. Call me!
I don’t know why Victoria’s Secret hasn’t hired Rachel Cook here yet, or what’s taking them so damn long, but I’m going to keep doing posts on this Insta-babe until those guys come to their senses. I mean, seriously, what do the Hadid sisters or the Jenners have that Rachel doesn’t? You know, besides rich parents who’ll buy them modeling careers. Because I’ve been doing this gig for a long time now, and in my professional opinion, Rachel’s bikini body is better than all four of those wannabes combined. But don’t just take my word for it. The bikini pictures speak for themselves.
Some of you may look at this latest topless photoshoot from Insta-babe Rachel Cook and see just another five-alarm pants fire, but not me. I look at and I see a chance to do some real scientific research here. See, I’ve been studying this very closely lately, and I swear that all the skinny Instagram models out there are getting the same boobs! I don’t know if they’re getting some kind of group discount or what, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it, even if it takes me all afternoon with my nose pressed up against my computer screen. Wish me luck.
I know I’ve done a couple posts letting you guys know you should all know who Rachel Cook is by now, but I don’t know how this serious hottie hasn’t become a Victoria’s Secret Angel yet. I mean, she’s got all the necessary qualifications: she’s a knockout in lingerie and has those same great fake, Victoria’s Secret-style funbags as the rest of them. Anyway, I may not understand the point of this new topless lingerie bathtub shoot of hers — unless it’s to give me a total pants meltdown, in which case, mission accomplished — but if this doesn’t earn Rachel some serious attention, I don’t know what will. Enjoy.
I’m always trying to stay up-to-date on all the latest hotties out there, so trust me when I say that Rachel Cook here is definitely one worth keeping an eye on. She’s not a household name just yet, but expect that to change if this Instagram hottie keeps doing professional photoshoots this good. And if you’re not following her yet, what are you waiting for? Get on that now, and thank me later.
There’s so many models out there these days, I know it’s hard to keep track of them all — even I have trouble remembering which hottie’s which, and it’s basically my only job (besides cracking lame dick jokes). But if you don’t know Rachel Cook here, you’re going to want to fix that ASAP. Now, I can’t seem to remember where I know Rachel from, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because this photoshoot is so hot, it’s making me forget a whole bunch of things. Including where I was going with this post, and what I did with my pants… Oh well. Enjoy!