I didn’t realize that Kate Upton still wanted to be an actress. I always figured she gave up on that pipe dream, since she never returned any of my calls about my genius ideas for a new
sex tape “romantic comedy.” Anyway, I guess I was wrong, because here’s the trailer for some new movie starring Kate and Alexandra Daddario. As far as I can tell, it’s about two seriously busty hotties fighting over getting to sleep with some loser. …Wait a minute. They stole my idea! Only mine was even better, because it featured half the clothing and ten times the bikini scenes. All I know is, I better get a cut.