According to my sources, Coachella started up again over the weekend, which is pretty exciting stuff. Not because I’m into the lineup of acts who were performing or anything. But I’m very into the lineup of hot nobodies going there to get photographed by the paps. For instance, here’s Ariel Winter showing off some serious underboob and bikini action, and getting a standing ovation from me and the Little Tuna. Encore!
According to my sources, Ariel Winter got invited on Conan last night, which means she’s officially at least a B-list celeb now. And I take full credit, obviously. See, before I started doing regular posts on her, she was just another sitcom kid/wannabe putting up booty pictures on Instagram. Now? She’s talk show famous. Anyway, I’m looking forward to my thank you card. Preferably in the form of a bikini and/or lingerie selfie, please.
There’s not a whole lot you can count on in this world, but you can count on two things: 1) Ariel Winter is going to keep showing off her baby fat T&A on social media, and 2) I’m going to keep doing posts on it. Looks like neither of us can seem to help ourselves. But luckily, I have a feeling you perverts don’t mind.
Here is our favorite chubby Modern Family cast member Ariel Winter working her Instagram and acting like a grown up smoking a cigar. I find it kinda sexy that she is somewhat delusional when it comes to her hotness. Sure she is cute and I like that she has no problems showing off her baby fat, but any bigger than this, it will no longer be baby fat. It will be just plain fat.
I still think Sarah Hyland is way cuter, but I can’t argue with the facts — somewhere in the past year, Ariel Winter officially leapfrogged Sarah for “Most Famous Modern Family
Kid Hottie” status. So let this be a lesson to all you young wannabes out there: don’t be a Sarah. Because if you don’t post half-naked, sexy selfies on Snapchat 24/7/365, someone else out there will.
I don’t know who this dude is getting a handful of Ariel Winter‘s booty in her latest Instagram bikini picture, but I guess that’s her new boyfriend. And I’m not going to lie, I’m getting a little jealous here. Not only am I never going to be able to get within groping distance of Ariel’s bikini booty, but I don’t think I’d be able to pick her up either. She’s not exactly light. And I’m not exactly buff. Guess I’d better go do a few more forearm reps just in case.
I thought Ariel Winter only went topless for Instagram, but looks like I was wrong, because I just found this “classy” black-and-white shoot of Ariel taking her top off for Self Magazine. And speaking of self, I think myself and the Little Tuna are going to need a little me time with these. So if you’ll excuse me, I have to go lock myself in this Starbucks bathroom for the next 30-45 seconds or until those barista prudes call the cops. Whichever comes first.
Looks like Ariel Winter is still on that beach vacation of hers, because she just gave all her fans this very important update on her tan lines via Instagram. And I don’t know about you, but I’m digging Ariel’s new signature pose. It’s a good look for the Modern Family star. Anyway, keep it here for more updates. I’m going to be following this Ariel Winter booty story very closely from here on out. We’re talking my nose an inch away from my computer screen close. So stay tuned.
If you want to know why I’m so sure that Ariel Winter is going to become a huge star someday, I think these pictures really say it all. See, while her Modern Family co-star and the rest of Hollywood were busy partying and showing off their Golden Globes last night, Ariel was hard at work, taking a bikini
vacation work trip and making sure she documented it from every angle. I just wish more young hotties had her work ethic and positive attitude.
I wonder how this picture was taken? Did Ariel Winter ask a friend to stand on a chair, point down and to make sure to get the best angle of her chubby little booty? In any case, I like the fact that she is somewhat delusional and thinks she has an amazing body. Now before you ladies get mad at me, I’m not saying her body is bad, I’m just saying it’s not something I would get off over unless I was a few drinks in and popped a half pill of Viagra. I’m a real sl%t when I mix those two.
I’ve done a lot of thinking about Ariel Winter since the last time I did a post on her, and I’m not just talking about the 30-45 seconds I spent locked in that Starbucks bathroom either. See, I think I’ve finally figured out why sometimes she looks hot and other times, just chubby and overrated. And it has to do with those giant funbags of hers. Turns out, the more she’s showing them off, the hotter Ariel looks. And here she is putting that theory to the test. If you ask me, it totally checks out.
I always have a tough time doing posts on Ariel Winter. One week, she’s looking chubby and overrated, the next week, she’s giving me a pants fire shaking her booty on Instagram. Or showing off her impressive funbags, like she’s doing here. Anyway, I still think Sarah Hyland is the hotter Modern Family kid, but as long as Ariel keeps dressing like this, I’ll keep trying to figure out whether she’s hot or not. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go, uh, “investigate” this picture for 30 seconds or so.
I don’t know when everyone else decided that Ariel Winter was hotter than Sarah Hyland, and why I wasn’t consulted, but it’s like all of sudden, she’s the only Modern Family hottie that gets any press these days. And that’s OK, I guess, as long as Ariel’s showing off those meaty funbags of hers. But I’d still rather see Sarah or Sofia Vergara in this Elle Magazine photoshoot. And I’m sure I can’t be the only one. Right?