I’m pretty sure these pictures of Bella Thorne are a trap, so I’m not going to say anything that might get me added to a government watch list or locked up. Because I can’t think of anything worse than getting sent to prison. Can you imagine being forced to go outside for an hour a day for “recreation”? The horror… So let’s move along. It’s just not worth it.
Here’s Bella Thorne at the America Grand Prix 2015 Gala in New York and just so I can’t be considered an accessory when you perverts get busted by Chris Hansen, here’s your regular reminder that there’s still another few months to go before Bella turns 18. Well, technically, it’s 5 months and 21 days, to be exact. But who’s counting?
No surprises here — after spending the weekend as a troublemaking fake hipster at Coachella, Bella Thorne‘s back to her day job: causing trouble on the red carpet. Apparently this time, it’s for some Target private shopping event in New York, but the what and where doesn’t really matter. So unless you want to become a target for dudes named Tiny at your local penitentiary, you know the drill: move it along.
In case you hadn’t heard, Coachella’s started up again, which means get ready to see all your favorite hotties pretending to dress up like a dirty hippies. So even if Bella Thorne here wasn’t 17 and eating a watermelon like she’s part of some undercover sting operation, I’d still tell you perverts to move it along. There’s nothing to see here except for a bunch of unwashed fake hipsters.
Here’s the hardest-working teenage troublemaker in Hollywood Bella Thorne in New York to help
put more of you perverts away launch something called the #FindYourPark Campaign to encourage people to get outside and rediscover the country’s national parks. But I encourage you to all just move it along and forget all about this. Not just because of Bella, but also because as a blogger, I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to the outdoors, sunlight and fresh air. I told you this girl was dangerous.
Here’s Bella Thorne showing why I call her the hardest-working teenage troublemaker in Hollywood, doing double duty at the opening night for the New York Spring Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall and then appearing on The View. I just hope Bella’s getting a cut from the government for all the perverts she’s working so hard to help put away. (And I’d recommend the rest of you move it along, unless you want to join that list.)
If you’re in the mood and want to be added to the government watch list, go check out Bella Thorne‘s Instagram. Here is a little sample of what you can expect. Keep in mind she is only 17 and this may be a trap.
Normally, whenever I do a post on teenage troublemaker Bella Thorne, I feel bad for possibly getting you degenerates in trouble. But right now, the only person I’m feeling bad for is whoever put together this photoshoot with Bella for the latest issue of Nylon Espanol. I mean, granted, I don’t know if it’s quite as bad as American jail, but I bet Spanish jail is no picnic either… Anyway, I strongly suggest the rest of you move it along unless you want to find out.
Consider this your weekly (OK, fine, daily) reminder that Bella Thorne is still trouble for another few months. Actually, make that 7 months, but who’s counting? So anyway, unless you want to find yourself celebrating the big day bunking with a dude named Tiny, I suggest you keep it moving. Actually, wait… There’s no way the justice system works that fast. You’ll probably still be in court. Either way, I wouldn’t risk it.
According to my sources, teenage troublemaker Bella Thorne is on her way into Jimmy Kimmel Live in these shots. So feel free to pretend you’re just a Kimmel super-fan and that’s why you’re looking at these pictures, but I seriously doubt that’ll hold up in court. I’d move it along, just to be safe.
Apparently our favorite teenage troublemaker Bella Thorne has a new movie coming out, because here she is attending a screening in LA for something called The DUFF. I haven’t heard of it before, but if I had to guess, I’m assuming Bella plays a 17-year-old who you degenerates should all stop staring at and move it along before you get in trouble. If any of you end up seeing the movie, let me know if I was right.
I’m not sure what Bella Thorne was doing at the People’s Choice Awards last night, because I’m too scared to even Google her name. But I’m going to go out on a limb and assume she was there to accept the award for Best Teenage Troublemaker. That’s a thing, right? If it is, Bella’s a lock. Now move it along, unless you want to be in the running for Best Inmate next year.
Because I guess being the hardest-working teenage troublemaker in Hollywood isn’t exactly something you can put on a resume, it looks like Bella Thorne got a real job, just like a regular 17-year-old. Only usually, that doesn’t become a news story and get covered on all the blogs. Anyway, according to my sources, Bella’s working a shift for Sprinkles Cupcakes in LA in these shots. And unless you want a visit from Chris Hansen for Christmas, those cupcakes better be the only thing you’re drooling over here.