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Jessica Lee Buchanan Is So Hot She Will Blow Your Pants Off

January 23rd, 2017

Jessica Lee Buchanan

In case any of you out there still don’t get why I make fun of those wannabe Instagram models all the time, I want you to take a good long look at this latest bikini photoshoot from a real supermodel: South African hottie Jessica Lee Buchanan. And once you’re done picking your jaw and/or your pants up off the floor, maybe you’ll understand what it means to actually be a professional model.

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Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures
Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures
Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures
Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures
Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures Jessica Lee Buchanan Pictures

Daniela Lopez Osorio Belongs In A Bikini

January 16th, 2017

Daniela Lopez Osorio

I just heard on the news that today is supposed to be “Blue Monday,” AKA the most depressing day of the year. So I figured I’d do my part to help put you guys in a better mood this morning by posting this massive bikini photoshoot from Colombian hottie Daniela Lopez Osorio. One look at these and I guarantee you’ll be feeling better in no time. You’re welcome.

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Daniela Lopez Osorio Daniela Lopez Osorio Daniela Lopez Osorio Daniela Lopez Osorio
Daniela Lopez Osorio Daniela Lopez Osorio Daniela Lopez Osorio Daniela Lopez Osorio Daniela Lopez Osorio
Daniela Lopez Osorio

Victoria Germyn Will Blow Your Pants Off

January 6th, 2017

Victoria Germyn

I don’t know how cold it is where you guys are today, but I’m currently freezing my ass off in my mom’s basement right now. But instead of putting on any extra layers or making a hot drink, I figured I’d come up with a much easier way to turn up the heat. AKA by posting this crazy-hot photoshoot from a new bikini model I just found. So meet Victoria Germyn. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starting to sweat already. Mission accomplished.

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Victoria Germyn Victoria Germyn Victoria Germyn Victoria Germyn
Victoria Germyn Victoria Germyn Victoria Germyn
Victoria Germyn Victoria Germyn
Victoria Germyn

Bella Thorne Is Snapping Her Bikini

January 4th, 2017

Bella Thorne

Looks like Bella Thorne is still on that bikini vacation of hers this week, and that’s great news for all of us perverts out there. But just in case you missed her daily Snapchat updates, not to worry, I’ve collected them all for you here. And the best part? Thanks to the magic of the screenshot, you now get to drool over from more than a few seconds at a time. Enjoy.

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Bella Thorne Pictures Bella Thorne Pictures Bella Thorne Pictures Bella Thorne Pictures
Bella Thorne Pictures Bella Thorne Pictures Bella Thorne Pictures Bella Thorne Pictures Bella Thorne Pictures
Bella Thorne Pictures

Kara Del Toro Belongs In A Bikini

January 4th, 2017

 Kara Del Toro

Since you guys seemed to dig those Kara Del Toro pictures we had yesterday (and more importantly, since me and the Little Tuna did too), I figured we’d double down on the hotness with another bikini photoshoot from the busty swimsuit model. And with any luck, maybe we can even turn this into a daily feature. So make sure to stay tuned for more breaking bikini updates from Kara.

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 Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures
 Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures  Kara Del Toro Pictures

Maria Sharapova Works Her Bikini On Instagram

January 3rd, 2017

Maria Sharapova

I’m not entirely clear on whether Maria Sharapova is still banned from playing tennis or not, considering I only watch the sport for the highlights (of hotties grunting in short skirts, naturally), but if she is, here’s hoping they find some reason to extend it. Because I don’t know about you perverts, but I could definitely get used to the idea of seeing Maria spend less time on the courts and more time on sandy beaches in bikinis. In fact, forget tennis, I think Maria’s got a chance to really move up the rankings if she wants to turn pro as an Instagram model.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOnn5kEAYrG/?taken-by=mariasharapova&hl=en

Maria Sharapova Maria Sharapova

Hailee Steinfeld Bikini Goodness

January 3rd, 2017

Hailee Steinfeld

Good news, everyone! It looks like Hailee Steinfeld finally took my advice, and ditched those boring teen magazine photoshoots for something that might actually help her career. AKA posting bikini pictures/videos on Instagram. And I’m telling you guys, as long as Hailee keeps listening to me, we’re going to make an A-list hottie out of her in no time. I guarantee it. Next up: “accidentally” “leaking” naughty selfies to her favorite blogger. I’ll go wait by my inbox.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOsscW_DNmt/?taken-by=haileesteinfeld

hailee steinfeld Pictures hailee steinfeld Pictures

Bella Thorne Bikini Snaps Are Awesome

January 2nd, 2017

Bella Thorne

I hope you guys had a happy New Year, but even if you didn’t, here’s something guaranteed to make sure you have a very happy January 2nd: it’s a new bikini Snapchat “photoshoot” from Bella Thorne. I’m glad to see that even while the rest of us were taking the day off yesterday, the world’s #1 Snapchat hottie was still hard at work. Bravo.

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Bella Thorne Bella Thorne Bella Thorne Bella Thorne Bella Thorne
Bella Thorne Bella Thorne Bella Thorne Bella Thorne
Bella Thorne

Izabel Goulart Bikini Goodness

January 2nd, 2017

Izabel Goulart

I think we can all pretty much agree that 2016 sucked. So what better way to kick off the new year than with pictures of smoking hot Victoria’s Secret model Izabel Goulart showing off her killer bikini booty at the beach, right? I don’t know about you guys, but things are already looking up for the Little Tuna, at least. So enjoy, and don’t worry, there’s lots more supermodel bikini pictures and lame dick jokes where those came from.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOkCNL-gKi2/?taken-by=izabelgoulart

Izabel Goulart Izabel Goulart Izabel Goulart Izabel Goulart

Прекрасная Изабель Гулар #izabelgoulart

A photo posted by PEOPLETALK.RU (@peopletalkru) on

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOtqfTzl7ej/?tagged=izabelgoulart

Maria Menounos Bikini Pictures

January 2nd, 2017

Maria Menounos

Ever since Maria Menounos left Extra, I’ve been waiting to see what she would do next. Maybe her and her perfect Greek booty would get their own spinoff. Or a reality show. But then she went and did something even better: becoming a professional Instagram bikini model. She hasn’t quite gotten the hang of the whole “posting 24/7” thing yet, but she’s got the rest of it down, like the hot wannabe reading list. Just a little constructive criticism, Maria might wanna consider upgrading that fiancé though. Like, say, for a very influential and well-connected blogger. I think it could really do wonders for her new career. Call me!

Maria Menounos Pictures Maria Menounos Pictures Maria Menounos Pictures Maria Menounos Pictures

Madison Beer Is 17 And Has Bad Parents

December 30th, 2016

I know I’m probably the least-qualified person alive to be giving anyone parenting advice, but I was looking at these pictures of Madison Beer at the beach, and I honestly don’t understand who lets their 17-year-old daughter wear a bikini like this. (That’s right perverts, Madison’s still 17 for another few months.) Or who lets their daughter do a fake “candid” beach photoshoot with the paps before she turns 18. Won’t somebody think of the children my readers? I don’t want any of you perverts getting in trouble here.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOpEYW6BXW5/?tagged=madisonbeer

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOpAtE5BRHO/?tagged=madisonbeer

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOpEb9El32L/?tagged=madisonbeer

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOpEOZeAds_/?tagged=madisonbeer

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Instagram Model Rachel Cook Works It In Swimsuits

December 29th, 2016

Rachel Cook

I don’t know why Victoria’s Secret hasn’t hired Rachel Cook here yet, or what’s taking them so damn long, but I’m going to keep doing posts on this Insta-babe until those guys come to their senses. I mean, seriously, what do the Hadid sisters or the Jenners have that Rachel doesn’t? You know, besides rich parents who’ll buy them modeling careers. Because I’ve been doing this gig for a long time now, and in my professional opinion, Rachel’s bikini body is better than all four of those wannabes combined. But don’t just take my word for it. The bikini pictures speak for themselves.

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Rachel Cook Rachel Cook Rachel Cook Rachel Cook Rachel Cook
Rachel Cook Rachel Cook Rachel Cook Rachel Cook Rachel Cook

Alexina Graham Is One Hot Ginger

December 29th, 2016

Alexina Graham

Here’s red-hot ginger Alexina Graham giving us a brand-new Christmas-themed photoshoot. And I know you guys might be asking yourself what a hottie eating watermelon and lounging around in a beach house has to do with the holidays… But come on, isn’t it obvious? Between Alexina’s red hair and pasty white skin, we’ve got all your classic Christmas colors. Plus, she’s currently lighting up my pants like we’re in Rockefeller Center. I say it counts. So just go with it, and enjoy.

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Alexina Graham Alexina Graham Alexina Graham Alexina Graham
Alexina Graham Alexina Graham Alexina Graham Alexina Graham
Alexina Graham Alexina Graham

Izabel Goulart’s Booty Is Amazing

December 27th, 2016

Izabel Goulart

Christmas may be over, but it’s still the holidays, which means, chances are, most of you guys are probably sitting in an airport right now, or a train station, or crashing in your mom’s basement like yours truly. Point is, wherever you are, you’re probably not in some gorgeous tropical location taking a bikini vacation with Izabel Goulart. So here’s the next best thing: a bunch of pictures and an Instagram video from the Victoria’s Secret babe. Just press your nose up against the screen, get the weirdo sitting next to you to make a few seagull noises and spray water in your face (if they’re not doing that already), and it’ll be just like you’re really there. Enjoy!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOdV_olggDo/?taken-by=izabelgoulart

Izabel Goulart Pictures Izabel Goulart Pictures

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOhTVhBADqB/?tagged=izabelgoulart

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOg1MhMDnnM/?tagged=izabelgoulart

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