I don’t know how you perverts spent your Fourth of July, but in case you didn’t shoot off enough pants fireworks this weekend, here’s something guaranteed to keep the party going: this sexy photoshoot from hottie Alysson Holt. Because it just doesn’t get much more patriotic than pictures of a busty blonde eating a popsicle in a bikini. I never paid much attention in school, but I’m 99% sure it’s how the Founding Fathers would’ve wanted us to celebrate Independence Day. So enjoy.
You might recognize Natalie Morris here from one of her Picture Moments, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve ever done a full post dedicated to the busty hottie. And it’s long overdue, because as you can probably tell, Natalie was born to wear a bikini. According to my research, one of her big claims to fame is making out with Enrique Iglesias in a music video, so just imagine what making a sex tape with an overweight blogger could do for her career… Call me!
Here’s Aussie hottie Shanina Shaik modeling one of my all-time favorite beach outfits: a one-piece. You know, assuming we’re talking about just the bottom piece. Anyway, I’ve always had a thing for Shanina, and this latest shoot of hers just clinches it. So if she ever needs help putting on suntan lotion or anything, I’m the man for the job. Sure, it might take me a couple hours longer than someone else, but hey, I’m just thorough. Call me!
Thanks to those creeper paparazzi and their zoom lenses, we’ve got these pictures of Eva Longoria hanging out by the pool in Miami. And you know, we don’t see this sexy cougar out in the wild much anymore these days, so make sure to enjoy the rare Eva bikini sighting.
I’m always on the lookout for new hot models to post, and Robin Holzken here definitely qualifies thanks to this killer bikini shoot she did for Beach Bunny. And actually, she really reminds me of another hottie, I just can’t seem to remember who. Of course, I also can’t seem to remember how to open my mouth without drooling or where I put my pants, but I’m sure it’ll all come back to me eventually. Stay tuned.
Every once in a while we get a new set of bikini pictures from my Twitter girlfriend Caitlin O’Connor, and it’s always cause for celebration over here at Tuna HQ. So here’s the foxy blonde at the beach in Malibu for her latest shoot, and if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go run out for more refills of streamers and Kleenex. Enjoy.
I know I like to make fun of Emily Ratajkowski sometimes and say that me and the Tuna Bump are the main reason she got so famous, but I’ve got to give credit where credit’s due. And there’s no denying she works pretty hard for a model. Because when she’s not looking crazy hot for professional photoshoots (like this latest picture for W Magazine), she’s also doing extra Instagram bikini modeling on the side. I just wish every model was this dedicated.
The best thing about having a professional swimsuit model like Brazilian hottie Julia Pereira design her own clothing line is she can also model it, like she’s doing here for her personal collection for Lybethras. And if these pictures don’t help sell a lot more clothes, I don’t know what will. Because I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to need to go out and buy a new pair of sweatpants after this serious pants fire. Maybe Julia should get into the sweatpants business next.
Photos: Andre Schiliro
I’ve got some good news and bad news. First, the good: my favorite former Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger took a bikini vacation to Greece with her fellow cougar friends. The bad news? Apparently according to my sources Nicole’s single again. And you might think I’d call that good news too, but really, it just means now I need to find another good excuse for why I still don’t have a chance in hell with Nicole and her perfect booty. Wish me luck.
I’m pretty sure they cancelled the 90210 reboot years ago, but luckily we can still get our Jessica Lowndes bikini fix thanks to the magic of Instagram. Although I’m pretty sure she meant to send this latest booty shot to her favorite blogger instead of posting it for the rest of you perverts to drool over too. She might want to double-check her privacy settings.
Because it’s my job to introduce you degenerates to new models for you all to drool over, I want you to meet Amanda Gullickson. According to my research, she got famous from being on some modeling competition show called The Face. But after these bikini pictures, I think she would’ve been better off doing a show called The Body. And if that doesn’t exist yet, it should. Because a bikini body as good as Amanda’s would be must-see TV.
If I didn’t already have a major crush on Anna Herrin, this video the hot model posted to Instagram of her dancing in a bikini and a captain’s hat (and accidentally breaking things) definitely would’ve done the trick. And it’s a good thing it loops automatically too, because otherwise, I would’ve sprained my wrist from clicking play about a million times. Enjoy.
Here’s one of my favorite 24-year-old cougars Samantha Hoopes back with another killer beach shoot. And while I still don’t believe that the SI Swimsuit hottie is only 24, I look forward to her continuing to try to convince me otherwise with more smoking hot bikini photoshoots like this one. At this rate, I hope it never works. Enjoy.
I’ve been doing this gig for years now, but I think it might be time for me to finally move on, because I just found my dream job: giving Claudia Galanti a bikini rubdown. And as much as I love working from home, I have a feeling it’ll be a lot easier to convince hotties to let me put my grubby mitts on them by the pool than in my mom’s basement. Fingers crossed.