I don’t know when USA Today got into the modelling business, but according to my sources, that’s where these shots of Chloe Grace Moretz are from, as weird as that sounds. Anyway, since they’re new to the game and probably don’t know the rules yet, I’m willing to give them a pass on this one. But next time, I’m expecting to see Chloe in a bikini. Or at the very least, some sexy lingerie. Otherwise, what’s the point, right? They’re trying to sell papers, aren’t they?
With the way the paps have been stalking Chloe Grace Moretz lately, I would’ve thought we would’ve gotten something really good by now. Like a wardrobe malfunction or a bikini vacation or a trip to the gym or something. But instead, we’ve just got these shots of her dancing in a parking lot fully-clothed. Yawn. Somebody wake me when Chloe starts twerking. Now that’s a story.
In case you missed it, Neighbors 2 was already my most anticipated movie of the year based solely on the fact that Chloe Grace Moretz shows up in a bikini in it. But now the trailer’s come out, and I found out that Selena Gomez also shows up in a bikini. So I think it’s safe to say that this film is guaranteed to sweep the Oscars next year. And/or get me kicked out of my local movie theater. Can’t wait.
Whoever Chloe Grace Moretz‘s team is, I’ve got to give them credit. They do a good job of tipping off the paps anytime Chloe’s going somewhere. And best of all, it looks like someone’s actually started listening to me about getting Chloe a better wardrobe. Because no, it’s not the bodypaint dress I’ve been hoping for, but at least this leg show is a good start.
I’m still waiting for Chloe Grace Moretz to take me up on my generous offer to help teach her how to dress, and until she does, I guess we’re just going have to make do with half-assed leg shows like this. And who knows, maybe Chloe just doesn’t have enough money to buy a whole new wardrobe at the moment. So here’s a helpful tip for any hotties on a budget: turn all your pants into booty shorts and cut funbag-sized holes in your shirts. That one’s on the house, Chloe.
I was half-joking yesterday when I said that Chloe Grace Moretz needed help learning how to dress if she ever wanted to live up to her hottie potential, but after seeing what she wore to a special fan screening of her new movie The 5th Wave, I’m convinced she needs my help ASAP. Girl needs to up her game. Luckily though, it shouldn’t be too hard, Chloe just needs to take a cue from the world’s best-dressed nobody Micaela Schaefer and start wearing body paint and/or lingerie everywhere. I’m telling you, it works every time. Well, for me and my readers, at least.
Listen, I get that Chloe Grace Moretz is trying to be America’s newest
sweetheart young hottie. That’s why she’s doing Marie Claire and photoshoots in fashion magazines and going on Jimmy Kimmel Live like she is in these shots, and for the most part it’s working. But if Chloe really wants to take her career to the next level, someone’s got to help teach her how to dress. Because outfits like this just aren’t going to cut it against Selena Gomez’s cleavage and Bella Thorne’s booty videos. Luckily, I have a few good ideas (mostly involving see-through shirts and walking around in lingerie). Call me!
I keep saying that if Chloe Grace Moretz wants to get serious about this whole modeling thing, she’s going to have to start showing more skin. But then magazines like Marie Claire here keep doing photoshoots with her fully-clothed. So don’t get me wrong, Chloe looks great in these shots, but we’ve got to work together here, guys. I can’t get Chloe in a bikini and/or lingerie on my own. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Last time we saw Chloe Grace Moretz, I was saying that if she really wants to become a model, she’ll have to step up her game (aka show more skin). And here she is doing just that for Modern Luxury Magazine, whatever that is. Anyway, it’s a good start, but I still think she needs to do a shoot for a slightly more reputable publication, you know, like the Tuna’s Bikini Monthly, which is completely legit, and not something I just made up on the spot to trick Chloe into getting into a bikini for me, I swear.
I always knew that Chloe Grace Moretz was a promising, up-and-coming actress (and I’m seriously looking forward to her next movie), but I didn’t know she was also an aspiring model until I saw this photoshoot. And don’t get me wrong, Chloe’s definitely got the talent to do it, but if she really wants to get serious about this thing, she needs to start working with photographers who understand that she looks better the more skin she shows, not the more clothes she puts on. Luckily, my phone takes great pictures.
With all the set pictures we’ve been getting from Neighbors 2 lately, it’s already my most anticipated movie of 2016. Here’s another killer leg show from Chloe Grace Moretz, and according to my sources, she’s hosting a sorority party in this scene. And you know what that means. They might have actually decided to shoot that Jello wrestling scene I suggested after all. I just hope they remember to thank me at the Oscars.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been really impressed by Chloe Grace Moretz lately. Not just because of the bikini and leg shows she’s been putting on, but because of the way she’s made sure to coordinate with the paps so they’re around to get the pictures. It’s an important skill for any up-and-coming hottie to master if they want to be taken seriously in the business.
I don’t know about you perverts, but I have a feeling I’m going to really like this Neighbors 2 movie… Because first we had some behind-the-scenes shots of Chloe Grace Moretz jogging in short shorts, and today we’ve got these ones of her partying in a bikini. I mean, I couldn’t have written this thing any better myself. Well, OK, that’s not entirely true. I would’ve found a way to work in trampolines and/or leg wrestling too, but hey, it’s not too late for some last-minute rewrites.
I’m a giant pervert I always like encouraging physical fitness in our nation’s youth, here’s some pictures of Chloe Grace Moretz going out for a jog in short shorts. Now, according to my sources, it’s all part of some new movie she’s filming, but I don’t care. I still think Chloe’s being a great role model for young hotties everywhere. She deserves a medal or something.