I’m guessing you guys have heard that Courtney Stodden finally listened to my advice and is going to be releasing a sex tape. And it’s about time. It’s something I’ve been saying my favorite hot nobody should do forever, and even though I’m not co-starring in it like I recommended, I’m still pretty psyched. In fact, it just became my most anticipated movie of the year. So to help tide us all over until the big day, here’s a few shots of Courtney and a video of her pole dancing from Instagram. Consider it a preview of coming attractions. Can’t wait!
I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen my former favorite busty nobody Courtney Stodden, but for some reason, it’s like people stopped inviting her and her killer funbags places. Anyway, luckily they’re still looking just as good as I remembered at Star Magazine’s Hollywood Rocks Event. And don’t worry Courtney, no matter what happens, you’ll always have a standing invite to my mom’s basement.
Even though Courtney Stodden‘s five minutes of fame are completely over, I still think she is one of the most beautiful creatures on the planet. I strongly suggest all of you follow her Instagram because you will not be disappointed. Here are a few examples of her greatness. Enjoy.
I don’t know what the 2014 Art Love and Fashion Show is, but if Courtney Stodden can bring her dog to it, then you know it’s probably a pretty A-list Hollywood affair. Anyway, I’m not sure why Courtney still hasn’t taken me up on my whole celebrity sex tape film festival idea, since I think it could be huge, but if it’ll help, her pooch is welcome too. It’ll just have to wait outside though, there’s not a whole lot of extra space in my bedroom.
No, I’m not really sure why our favorite hot nobody Courtney Stodden is posing with the Incredible Hulk Lou Ferrigno on some LA red carpet. Although I’m pretty sure it has to do with some sort of charity reception. But turns out that these two actually have something in common after all: they’ve both got a pair of massive body parts that could crush my head. Only with Courtney, I think I’d actually really enjoy it. No offense, Hulk.
I know that not all you guys are big fans, but see, now this is why I call Courtney Stodden one of the all-time greats when it comes to hot wannabe celebrities. Because while all the real actresses out there are going to real film festivals, here’s Courtney busting out her big guns for something called the Feline Film Festival. Yes, apparently that’s a real thing. Anyway, so I’m figuring if Courtney will show up to something like this, I’d better get the first annual Tuna Film Festival up and running fast. I haven’t decided on the lineup yet, but my mom’s basement has great acoustics.
Holy crap. I know it’s been a while since I’ve done a post on my favorite busty nobody Courtney Stodden, but is it just me, or did those giant funbags of hers get even more massive? Because this is just nuts. That said, I guess it’s probably not helping that my face is currently only 2 inches away from the screen right now, but it was necessary. I had a hard time focusing otherwise.
Yeesh. I know Courtney Stodden‘s supposed to be my favorite hot nobody and all, but even I’ve got to admit that her face is looking a little busted in these shots of her at the airport. I mean, maybe it’s always been that way and my eyes have just been focused a couple inches lower, but whatever the case, I really hope Courtney’s able to turn this around. Because otherwise, it’s a shame to see someone waste their
natural artificial talents like that.
It’s been long enough that I figured it was probably time to check back in again with my favorite blonde bimbo’s Instagram. And is it just me, or does it look like Courtney Stodden‘s bolt-ons have gotten even bigger than you remembered? I dunno, maybe I just haven’t seen them in a while, but I guess there’s only one way to know for sure: I have to go back into the archives for a closer look, even if it takes the rest of the day. It’s not for me, it’s for science. Or something like that.
Today’s extra catch consists of Courtney Stodden, Nikki Reed,Tulisa Contostavlos, Holly Willoughby, Annaleigh Ashford, Katharina Damm, Nina Agdal, Emma Roberts, Cameron Diaz, Ali Larter, Courteney Cox, Leslie Mann, Cameron Diaz, Maria Menounos, Chelsea Turnbo, Ashley Cusato,Maggie Grace, Maria Fowler, Rachel Wallace, Kimberly Wyatt, Lexi Atkins.
I know that not everybody loves Courtney Stodden as much as I do, but luckily there’s still one group of people that shares my feelings for the busty wannabe celebrity. No, not dirty old men (although I’m sure they’re big fans too). I’m talking about the paparazzi. And I’m extremely jealous that they get to follow her around 24/7 and I don’t. That said, I think I finally figured out how to land a date with Courtney: all I need to do is get myself a camera and a zoom lens. Either that or pretend to be a 50-year-old millionaire, but this way it’ll be much less suspicious when I invite her to come back to my mom’s place.
In case you forgot, and I don’t really blame you, because I definitely did, it’s Style Fashion Week in LA right now (whatever the hell that is). And what better way to celebrate than with some pictures of one of the best-dressed nobodies around? So here’s Courtney Stodden busting out those massive melons of hers and showing all the other wannabe celebs out there how it’s done. Because if you ask me, I think those bolt-ons of hers make the perfect accessories. See? Who says I can’t cover this fashion crap?
I’m not entirely sure what Courtney Stodden does for a living, considering I didn’t think being a hot nobody paid all that well. But after doing a little creeping on her Instagram, I think I’ve figured it out: she’s a professional Twitter model. Granted, she only has like 6400 followers or something, but who cares, I still love her. And I think if she became an ex-Mrs. Tuna we might be able to add another zero to those numbers. Plus, she’d be getting double alimony. Not too bad for a 19-year-old cougar, right? Call me!
I don’t know how I missed these shots of my favorite busty nobody Courtney Stodden during yesterday’s Oscar roundup, since those funbags of hers are pretty hard to miss. But since I figure it’s always better late than never, here she is busting out at the Night of 100 Stars Oscar viewing party. And considering all I see in these pictures are a bunch of D-listers all wanting to pose for a picture with Courtney’s cleavage, I think they should’ve changed the name to the Night of 2 Stars. Either way, enjoy.