Now that Emily Ratajkowski‘s reached over 10 million Instagram followers, she’s officially at another level of Instagram-famous. And I’m glad to see she’s taking that responsibility seriously by continuing to post smoking hot bikini pictures like the one above. I always knew Emily would make an amazing professional Instagram hottie someday. Next, she needs to start treating it like a full-time job though, because a bikini picture a day might have flown when she only had a couple million followers, but expectations are higher now. Especially from me and the Little Tuna.
I don’t know about you guys, but I always think it’s hilarious when stone-cold hotties think that just because they put on a pair of glasses, all of a sudden that makes them a nerd or something. Like it instantly erases their perfect bodies or amazing funbags. Anyway, here’s self-proclaimed “dork” Emily Ratajkowski celebrating getting to 10 million followers on Instagram by doing the same thing that got her all those followers in the first place: getting naked. Well, mostly naked, anyway. She’s still wearing those glasses. What a loser.
It’s time for another round of my favorite game, “Can you guess which of these things is not like the others?” I’ll even give you a hint: there’s five hot women in swimsuits at the beach here, Elsa Hosk, Emily Ratajkowski, Hailey Baldwin, Rose Bertram and Bella Hadid. But only one of them is a real supermodel. And if you said Elsa, congratulations! You can still tell the difference. Even though the modeling industry apparently can’t anymore.
Here are Bella Hadid and Emily Ratajkowsk using their social media power to help promote each other to gain more followers. They are both under 10 million so joining forces makes perfect sense. As you know, the more followers you have the more money you can command when selling teeth whitening solutions or coffee scrubs. Anyway, back to business. Yes, they look like d-list models who I would love to take to Mc Donald’s for a happy meal, but would never have a chance to.
The funniest thing about Instagram models are their captions when they post. Today’s Emily Ratajkowski caption is “Mood 1 and 2”. Whatever that means. I guess she tryig to tell her followers that if you are 7 on 10 and hotter, wear slutty clothes and post it on social media, you never have to work a day in your life. Deep!
You know how all those Samsung phones started catching on fire a while back and they had to do that big recall? Well, I think I might have finally uncovered the reason: I think it probably had something to do with guys looking at Emily Ratajkowski‘s Instagram. Because I don’t know about you dudes, but I’m definitely overheating right now. They might have to recall my sweatpants pretty soon too.
I thought Emily Ratajkowski had given up on the modeling business and just gone back to being a professional Instagram hottie again. But it’s a good thing she didn’t, because this latest lingerie shoot is hands down one of the hottest things I’ve seen from Emily in months. I’m pretty sure my pants region just spontaneously combusted. So enjoy, but make sure to stay away from anything flammable just to be safe.
So, I know the past week has been kind of rough for people, but I’ve got some news that should make you perverts feel a lot happier. Well, in your pants regions, at least. Because apparently Emily Ratajkowski is on a beach vacation in Mexico right now, and even better? It’s a topless beach. Oh, and some paparazzi with zoom lenses “happened” to be there too. So check out the NSFW pictures here, then go ahead and join Emily in her happy dance. You’re welcome.
OK, so I know I’ve been saying that Emily Ratajkowski should give up on real modeling and just stick to Intsagram modeling instead, but that was before I saw this new topless photoshoot she did. And now I take it all back. Because this shoot is so pants-meltingly hot, I’d like to give Emily a hand. Literally. I think she could use an extra one. Those things look heavy! And my wrists are very strong. Call me!
I’m glad to see Emily Ratajkowski took my advice and gave up on real modeling to get back to her true calling: fake modeling. And in case you thought Emily was just a one-hit wonder, here she is doing it all, Instagram modeling, Snapchat modeling. Even gas station modeling. I’m telling you guys, she’s a total natural. Anyway, as long as I’m dispensing advice and Emily’s listening, I also think she should give up on Hollywood guys and start dating someone more down-to-earth. Like, say, a pasty loser who still lives in his mom’s basement. And here’s the best part: I already know just the guy…
I guess Emily Ratajkowski has officially given up on acting and gone back to real modeling, because I just came across this new photoshoot she did in New York. And don’t get me wrong, there’s some good shots in here. Especially this one. But I still think Emily should just devote herself to Instagram modeling full-time. (Or Snapchat.) It’s a much better use of her, uh, natural talents.