I’m pretty sure Genevieve Morton is hands down the bustiest of all the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models. And I’d look it up to confirm, but that would mean I’d have to tear my eyes away from this latest beach photoshoot of hers, which I don’t plan on doing anytime soon. Thank God I learned how to touch typezdrrsfl, right? I know, I know, I’m a total pro. Enjoy!
Sure, I may not have the biggest vocabulary, but for my money, there’s few better phrases in the English language than “supermodel sideboob”… So here’s busty Sports Illustrated model Genevieve Morton at the She’s Funny That Way premiere in LA, and I’d write more, but one look at these pictures, and the only other words I can seem to remember are “wow” and “more, please.” Enjoy.
Because there’s never a bad reason to get a bunch of smoking hot supermodels together for a pool party, here’s Hailey Clauson, Hannah Davis, Genevieve Morton, and Kelly Rohrbach at Sports Illustrated‘s big fight weekend party in Las Vegas. And forget that boring-ass fight, they should’ve just put this on pay-per-view instead. Just try and tell me you wouldn’t have paid to watch four super-hot models hang out at the pool. It could’ve been the event of the century.
So Sports Illustrated held their annual celebration for the 2015 Swimsuit Issue in New York the other night. And instead of being upset that they forgot to invite me to the party (again), I’m going to look on the bright side: they did invite a whole bunch of hotties like Hannah Davis, Rose Bertram, Hailey Clauson, Solveig Mork Hansen, Ashley Smith, Kelly Rohrbach, Emily Ratajkowski, Sara Sampaio, Hannah Ferguson, Samantha Hoopes, Chrissy Teigen, Erin Heatherton, Lily Aldridge, Gigi Hadid, Irina Shayk, Genevieve Morton, and Ashley Graham. And you know, just looking at these pictures is starting to make me feel better already.
Here’s busty Sports Illustrated model Genevieve Morton doing what she does best: melting my entire pants region with a new bikini photoshoot. Now, in case you forgot, Genevieve and I used to be an item on Twitter, and by that I mean, she would actually acknowledge my existence, which I’m pretty sure counts as blogger third base. Well, after these, I think it’s about time the two of us went all the way. That’s right: a DM. I’ll go light some candles and put on Al Green.
Here’s busty Sports Illustrated model Genevieve Morton back doing what she does best: blowing my mind with super-hot bikini pictures. Now some of you might remember that Genevieve and I used to get hot and heavy on Twitter (aka she used to actually acknowledge my existence), but even though that’s all over now, I’ve got no hard feelings. I know that eventually she’ll realize what a huge mistake she made and how any model would be lucky to have me and come back to me. Stop laughing. That wasn’t a punchline.
Here’s busty Sports Illustrated model Genevieve Morton hosting some gig at TAO Beach in Las Vegas. Unfortunately, for a place that has beach in their name, Genevieve is not wearing a swimsuit. Oh well, at least we get to see her magnificent cleavage in a dress. Can’t complain about that.
Between the last set of bikini pictures from Genevieve Morton and now these, I think Hailey Clauson might have some serious competition for the title of the Tuna’s favorite busty blonde. Because these latest shots from my ex-Twitter girlfriend are making me remember all those great times we used to share together. You know, when she and I would send each other sweet nothings over Twitter, or at least her assistant or publicist would. Anyway, nowadays Genevieve just ignores my dumb jokes and propositions, which at first I thought meant we broke up, but now I’m thinking it means we must’ve taken things to the next level. Because that sounds an awful lot like marriage to me. I’d better run upstairs and tell my mom the good news.
In case you don’t know (and you should, considering I mention it pretty much every chance I get), me and Genevieve Morton here used to be an item. And by that I mean she used to actually acknowledge my existence over Twitter every once in a while, which counts as getting to third base in blogger terms. Anyway, that’s all done now, and I thought I was over it, but then Genevieve goes and drops a crazy-hot busty photoshoot like this. It’s gotta be a sign she wants to get back together, right? Maybe this time we can actually go all the way and send each other a DM. Fingers crossed.
Years ago, I had a brief communication with Genevieve Morton on Twitter and I told her that her and her big chesticles deserved the cover of Sports illustrated Swimsuit Issue. This is way before we discovered Kate Upton’s knockers. Anyway, Genevieve stopped responding to my Tweets and now here she is outside a restaurant looking like a chick who would actually date me. Big mistake, she should have kept in contact with me. On the bright side, Gen still has the goods and I still have some very talented hands. Call me.
Here’s my ex-Twitter girlfriend Genevieve Morton out looking better than ever celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue with her fellow super-hot models. That’s right, before she became a big-shot swimsuit model, Genevieve used to respond to me on Twitter. Now she doesn’t anymore, and it breaks my heart. Yes, contrary to popular opinion, bloggers do have hearts. Anyway, now that I’ve finally moved on too, I can only assume that Genevieve must be trying to make me jealous with these busty pictures. Well, it’s working. How about a quick RT for old times’ sake?
There were so many hotties at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue 50th Anniversary Party last night that it’s hard to keep track of them all: Rachel Hunter, Petra Nemcova, Kate Bock, Genevieve Morton, Jess Gomes, Katherine Webb, Ariel Meredith, Chrissy Teigen, Dominique Piek, Tori Praver, Natasha Barnard, Rebecca Romijn, Ireland Baldwin, Heidi Klum, Kathy Ireland. Still, I can’t believe yours truly didn’t get an invite, especially considering all the press I give them. I guess I can’t be trusted around a bunch of hot models and an open bar, which makes sense. Hell, I can barely be trusted around this post and a Starbucks without getting kicked out for violating their no pants, no service policy.
There was a time when Genevieve Morton and I would send each other sweet little nothings over Twitter, but that was long before she became a big shot model for SI. Now if I’d Tweet her, she’d most likely ignore me. I don’t blame her though. I’m just a sad dude who lives in his mother’s basement who regularly dines on Hot Pockets and writes about girls that I have absolutely no chance with. Anyway, before you start feeling sorry for me, I just want to let you guys know, I haven’t given up! My dream of seducing one of these SI models is still alive because I just saw that stupid documentary “The Secret” and it claims if you can visualize it as if it were really happening, it eventually will. If that’s true, Genevieve Morton and I will be getting married very soon, and you’re all invited to the wedding.