You want to know my favorite thing about summer? That every single hottie in Hollywood — from Insta-wannabes to A-list actresses — spends approximately 50% more time in a bikini. So here’s Hailee Steinfeld posting bikini pictures from the beach. And if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go crank the A/C, because it seems to have gotten a few degrees warmer in here. Yow.
Here’s Hailee Steinfeld on the Australian version of The Voice debuting her new single, for some reason. I guess the American Voice was busy? Anyway, I don’t know who’s responsible for telling Hailee here she could be a singer when she grew up, but it’s distracting her from her true calling: being a professional hot nobody/Snapchat model. I mean, come on. If you could really grow up to be whatever you wanted, I’d be the Victoria’s Secret Angels’ personal suntan lotion assistant, and not just some blogger who lives in his mom’s basement. But life doesn’t work that way.
According to my sources, Hailee Steinfeld put together a Making Of video for her new boxing-themed music video for some single I’ve never heard of — I guess it’s called “Most Girls.” And apparently Hailee really is determined to try to stick it out and launch a music career, even though I keep telling her she’s better off just becoming a professional hot nobody/Instagram model like 99% of the women in LA. Not only is it guaranteed work, it’s even easier than having producers auto-tune you while you sing songs other people wrote. It’s way more rewarding too. Well, for me and the Little Tuna at least.
Here’s a preview of W Magazine‘s upcoming February issue and I guess it must have some kind of Oscar theme, because it’s featuring three Hollywood super-cuties in Hailee Steinfeld, Dakota Fanning and Emma Stone. I’ve always liked these three, so I’m glad to see them pairing up for a photoshoot, but I still say if they really want to take their careers to the next level, forget the Oscars. They should be focusing on doing photoshoots like this full-time instead. It’s way more prestigious. P.S. Shouldn’t someone tell Hailee she’s supposed to wear that lipstick, not eat it? Like I said, I’m just trying to help here.
Good news, everyone! It looks like Hailee Steinfeld finally took my advice, and ditched those boring teen magazine photoshoots for something that might actually help her career. AKA posting bikini pictures/videos on Instagram. And I’m telling you guys, as long as Hailee keeps listening to me, we’re going to make an A-list hottie out of her in no time. I guarantee it. Next up: “accidentally” “leaking” naughty selfies to her favorite blogger. I’ll go wait by my inbox.
I’m still waiting for Hailee Steinfeld to take my advice and ditch the boring magazine spreads in favor of spreading it for selfies on Snapchat and Instagram (AKA the patented Bella Thorne career plan). But until then, at least she’s still looking super-cute in this photoshoot she just did for Seventeen Magazine. Oh, and don’t let that worry you perverts, Hailee’s 19. You’re in the clear.
I know Hailee Steinfeld is trying to get taken seriously as a young up-and-coming hottie these days. But if she really wants to follow in Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift‘s footsteps and become a huge star, forget releasing Autotuned pop songs and doing boring photoshoots like this. She should be releasing dirty selfies on Snapchat and doing busty shoots on Instagram. That’s just Hottie 101.
Hailee Steinfeld, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Rita Ora, Karlie Kloss And Cindy Crawford Do New York Fashion Week
Here is an interesting mix of hotties that showed up to the “New York Fashion Week”. It surprises me that Cindy Crawford is 50 years old an she is still much hotter than the rest of these chumps. Don’t get me wrong I would spend my days licking the lint out of each one of their toes, but Cindy’s I’d pay extra attention to.
Like I’ve said in the past, I know there’s a lot of people out there who are hard at work trying to make Hailee Steinfeld into a “big star.” And I have to give them credit, at least they’re doing it the right way. Because forget the artsy photoshoots and music videos and magazine covers. No one cares about any of that. If you really want to become famous these days, this is how you do it: by hitting the beach with the paparazzi. I’d point out the fact that Hailee should’ve been wearing a bikini instead of a one-piece if she really wanted to do it right, but hey, at least it’s a start.
I know a lot of people out there are working extremely hard to try to make Hailee Steinfeld here “happen,” and now she’s got her very own faux-artsy black-and-white photoshoot to prove what a “serious” artist she is. And look, I don’t want to tell anyone how to do their jobs or anything, but if Hailee’s team really wants to make her a big star, forget these lame “fashion” shoots. They should just put Hailee in a bikini, send her to the beach and make sure to alert the paparazzi. I can personally guarantee positive results. Well, for me and the Little Tuna, at least…
I’m pretty sure her managers are trying to make Hailee Steinfeld here the next Selena Gomez or something, so first she released some pop album nobody bought or listened to, and now the paps are showing up outside her gym to catch pictures of her giving us a peek at her sexy stomach. And don’t get me wrong, I’m down with that last part, but if Hailee really wants to get famous, forget the dance classes and singing lessons. She should just “accidentally” leak a few compromising pictures and/or videos. It works every time. Plus, it’s way easier than dance class.
Before any of you perverts out there rush to the bathroom to try to flush your desktop, I should probably let you know that Hailee Steinfeld here is 19 now, which means she’s no longer trouble. That said, until she starts showing off more than just her stomach for the paps, she’s also kind of boring. I don’t know who’s responsible for her publicity, but Hailee should’ve had her first official wardrobe malfunction or selfie scandal months ago. Someone really dropped the ball there…
I was pretty sure Hailee Steinfeld was an actress and not a singer, so when I saw these shots of her filming a music video for a song called “Love Myself” in Los Angeles, I figured it was some kind of elaborate sting operation by the LAPD. I mean, c’mon, it’s just too obvious, right? But it turns out that Hailee’s 18 now, so for once, I don’t have to discourage you degenerates from following Hailee’s lead and loving yourselves. Enjoy, perverts.
I’ve never heard of Hailee Steinfeld before, but here’s Taylor Swift out supporting her at the premiere of her new movie Romeo and Juliet. Apparently that’s because Taylor and Hailee are best friends, but before you degenerates out there start fantasizing about which one of these two plays Juliet and which plays Romeo during their sleepover parties, I should warn you that Hailee’s only 16. And no, just because Taylor Swift can be best friends with a 16-year-old girl doesn’t mean you can too. Move along.