As you guys know, I spend approximately 50% of my day scrolling through Instagram (I spend the other half sleeping, obviously). Which is how I’m always finding new hotties for us all to collectively drool over. And here’s my latest discovery: Silvia Caruso. Now, I only really know two things about her. One, that she’s an Italian model. And two, that she’s my newest crush. I think you’ll probably be able to see why after you check out the pictures.
So I was doing my daily Instagram
creeping research earlier when I stumbled across another Russian hottie I think would make a great mail-order bride. And since I’m too poor to afford her myself (well, unless I can find a buyer for my collection of mint Burger King coupons…), I figured I might as well share her with you guys too. So meet Lena Denisova. If anyone wants to go in on this with me, maybe we can figure out a timeshare or something.
I’ve always been a big fan of Romee Strijd, even if she isn’t the most famous Victoria’s Secret model out there. But I don’t think I ever knew that she had a second gig as a professional Instagram model too. Anyway, here’s some of the highlights from checking out her profile, and just in case the whole lingerie model thing doesn’t work out, it’s good to know that Romee has something to fall back on.
Good news, everyone! It looks like Hailee Steinfeld finally took my advice, and ditched those boring teen magazine photoshoots for something that might actually help her career. AKA posting bikini pictures/videos on Instagram. And I’m telling you guys, as long as Hailee keeps listening to me, we’re going to make an A-list hottie out of her in no time. I guarantee it. Next up: “accidentally” “leaking” naughty selfies to her favorite blogger. I’ll go wait by my inbox.
Ever since Maria Menounos left Extra, I’ve been waiting to see what she would do next. Maybe her and her perfect Greek booty would get their own spinoff. Or a reality show. But then she went and did something even better: becoming a professional Instagram bikini model. She hasn’t quite gotten the hang of the whole “posting 24/7” thing yet, but she’s got the rest of it down, like the hot wannabe reading list. Just a little constructive criticism, Maria might wanna consider upgrading that fiancé though. Like, say, for a very influential and well-connected blogger. I think it could really do wonders for her new career. Call me!
Gabby Epstein is some Instgram model who pretty much spends her life in a bikini visiting beautiful locations. She has over a million followers and from what I read is only 20 years old, which means she will probably never work a day in her life. Cause we all know the goal of being an Instagram model is to find a rich dude and live the easy life. Not that it’s a bad thing, but to all you feminist who say that women are repressed, spend some time on social media. Paints a whole different picture.
It’s my job to stay up to date on all the latest stories from the hot nobody beat, and as my regular readers know, I’ve been following this whole “Lindsey Pelas has massive funbags” story for a while now. But as great as her Instagram and Snapchat pics have been lately, I’m starting to think she might be cheating. See, I’ve been studying this very closely this morning, and she puts these weird pee yellow filters onto some of her pictures that hide any/all imperfections. And I don’t know if that’s technically cheating or not but… For some reason, I don’t mind at all. Carry on, Lindsey. And just keep the pictures coming. Please.
With over 2.3 million followers on Instagram, I’m guessing at least a few of you perverts out there already know who Sophia Miacova is. But just in case you don’t, trust me, you’re going to want to get to know this fitness/Instagram model/total pants fire ASAP. So I’m not going to bore you with any lame facts about where she’s from or her favorite food. Instead, let’s all just get right to the important part: these smoking hot pictures and video. (You’re welcome.)
As you guys know, I do my best to keep up with all the latest hotties out there, and here’s my newest discovery: Mimi Perkins. According to my research, she’s an up-and-coming bikini/lingerie/Instagram model from Australia (and a future ex-Mrs. Tuna, if she keeps this up). So enjoy these shots, but just be warned, Mimi’s so hot, she’s liable to overheat both your computer and your pants region if you’re not careful.
I don’t know about you guys, but I had a tough time getting out of bed today. Maybe it’s the weather, or maybe it’s the fact that my bed also technically counts as my office. Who knows. But whatever the reason, I know it’s not half as good as having Insta-hottie Carmella Rose in sexy lingerie in there with me. So if you’ll excuse me, I think I have to go back to bed and try dreaming about this amazing photoshoot. Yes, it’s not as good as the real thing, but it’s probably as close as I’m getting to it. Wish me luck.
Used to be, we’d get a new booty update from Maria Menounos almost every other day. Me and the Little Tuna could barely keep up. But now that she’s not hosting Extra anymore, it’s been getting a little harder to get my regular fix from the Greek hottie. But luckily, I have some great news: it looks like Maria’s started a second career as an Instagram bikini model. And if these are a preview of what’s to come, I predict she’s going to do extremely well in this business. Fingers crossed.
I still don’t know what the hell happened to Jessica Lowndes the last time we saw her, but I guess it must’ve just been a one-time thing. Because I just happened to be
creeping researching her Instagram recently and she’s looking like just as much of an instant pants fire as she used to back during the good old days. So enjoy. And in case you’re wondering how her booty looks this good, just check out the workout video below. Yow. I guess Jessica actually does work hard. And now, same here. Sorry. TMI?
I never paid much attention in science class in school, so I have no clue how Elizabeth Hurley can manage to still look this hot at 51-f@#king-years-old. But luckily, just because her acting career’s slowed down doesn’t mean her hottie career has to end, and apparently she’s made a seamless transition into Instagram modeling these days. And here I thought old people didn’t know how to use the Internet. I think this is the first time I’ve ever been so glad to be proven wrong. Enjoy.