Forget the Hadid sisters, if you’re looking for an Instagram hottie who actually deserves to find fame and fortune, I want to introduce you to Livia Gullo. According to my research, she’s a former Miss Brazil, and once I stopped drooling over her pictures, I noticed something. She doesn’t have any friends. She’s got over 250k followers, but she’s not following a single person. I guess she must not be very nice. But with a body like this, who cares? I’d still be her friend. So call me, Livia! We can set up a playdate at my mom’s house.
I guess Sara Jean Underwood has been digging all the attention I’ve been giving her lately almost as much as I’ve been digging her pictures, because she keeps dropping more of that serious hotness on her Instagram. And at this rate, I’m not sure which is going to overheat first: my computer or my pants. Yow!
Looks like Sara Jean Underwood is still working hard to try to land a rich boyfriend/sugar daddy, and that’s great news for the rest of us. Because that means Sara’s Instagram is still an instant pants fire. So here’s a look at some of her latest shots. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a trip to the bank to see if they’ll let me take out a massive loan… Because I just found the perfect investment.
Today’s InstaBabe is Russian model Natalie Golba, and I’m pretty sure her Instagram counts as one of the country’s finest exports. Because trust me, one look at Natalie’s pictures, and you won’t be able to get enough of her. So enjoy these to start, then head over and start scrolling. You just might want to make sure you clear the rest of your schedule for the day first…
Here’s something both the nerds and the rest of us can enjoy: Kelly Brook dressed up like Wonder Woman for some super busty selfies. According to my sources, the costume was for some new British TV show, and if you ask me, Kelly makes for a pretty great superhero. That super-cleavage of hers is the only superpower she needs.
The good news? My former InstaBabe Carmella Rose here apparently broke up with that Cody Simpson loser she was dating. But the even better news is that she has a new bikini photoshoot for us all to drool over, while I try to figure out how to ask Carmella out now that she’s single again. Do you think skywriting “Will you marry and then divorce me?” is too much, or not enough? My mom thinks it’s romantic.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that none of you perverts out there won the big Powerball jackpot last night, which means you’re probably back at the office today daydreaming about how you would’ve spent all that money. Well, same here. And I already know my answer: I would’ve started dating Sara Jean Underwood. Because judging from these shots she posted to her Instagram in the last week, she’s still single and still hustling. Better keep buying those lottery tickets, just in case.
If you’re not following Bella Thorne on Instagram yet, you need to get on that ASAP. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Because Bella doesn’t just post locker room selfies and bikini pictures, she also posts these great workout videos filled with helpful exercise tips so you can lie and say you’re just studying her form and not being a giant perv at work. Anyway, I’m glad to see Bella putting in all this hard work, and I think the results will speak for themselves. I bet she gets a ton more Instagram followers if she keeps this up.
Getting a look inside the women’s locker room is supposed to be every guy’s fantasy, right? And OK, so maybe this isn’t exactly the gym locker room selfie I was hoping to see from Bella Thorne — in my head, she was wearing a lot less clothing and sending it to my inbox, not Instagram. But it’s still a good start. So here’s hoping that Bella keeps her New Year’s Resolution up by going to the gym so I can keep mine up of drooling over pictures of Bella in leggings 3-5 times a week.
I’m told that the holidays are the time when we’re all supposed to catch up with our friends and loved ones, so I thought I’d spend a little time with someone who truly matters to me: my former Twitter pal and future ex-wife Kimberley Garner. And after taking a quick look through her Instagram, I’m pretty sure the two of us need to catch up in person ASAP. I’d say over coffee, but I’ve got a lifetime ban from Starbucks. Guess my mom’s basement will have to do. Call me!
I think I’ve probably introduced you perverts to Jenna Jenovich before, but just in case any of you out there still aren’t following this Serbian hottie on Instagram, trust me, you’re going to want to make that your New Year’s Resolution this year. For now though, just enjoy these. It’s like throwing a holiday party in your pants.
Don’t get me wrong about Abigail Ratchford here. I’m sure she’s a very hard worker and has held many real jobs over the years, unlike a lot of the other professional Instagram models out there. But even though she’s still very doable and not actually overweight, I just think that for her Instagram career to really take off, she needs to work a little harder. Say, by doing deep knee bends with her boobs in my face. Just a suggestion…
I can’t tell you guys much about today’s InstaBabe Celeste Bright that you couldn’t figure out yourselves from creeping her Instagram for a while. But I can give you some advice: it’s so packed with sexy bikini shots from this hottie that you’re gonna want to make sure you take regular breaks every 30-45 seconds so your pants region doesn’t overheat. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
Too many hotties out there don’t seem to know how to use Instagram properly, but luckily, Selena Gomez isn’t one of them. See, Instagram wasn’t made for posting pictures of your latte art, it was made for bikini selfies. And you know, on the off-chance this whole music thing doesn’t pan out for Selena, I think she could have a very lucrative second career as a professional Instagram model. Yow!