According to my sources (AKA creeping her Instagram all morning), one of my OG future ex-wives Joanna Krupa is vacationing in Greece right now. Which basically involves taking and posting as many bikini selfies as her international data plan will allow. I’ve never been to Greece before, since that would mean leaving my mom’s basement, but if I’d known the view was this good, I might have reconsidered. Yow!
I know the Internet (or at least, social media) is made up almost entirely of hot nobodies trying to use their perfect bodies to get famous these days, so it can be tough for a hottie to stand out. But let’s not forget that Joanna Krupa here is one of the OG hot wannabes. And if you’re not already following her on Snapchat, you’re going to want to fix that ASAP. Trust me. Here’s a sampling below. Enjoy!
It feels like it’s been way too long since I’ve done a post on Joanna Krupa, AKA one of my original future ex-wives, and that’s downright criminal. So I figured I’d look for some new pictures from the cougar hottie, and found these. And you know, I’ve never been much of a reader, but it’s starting to look a lot more appealing to me after this. Yow!
I’m assuming you’ve probably heard of the Mannequin Challenge by now, but just in case you only use the Internet for important things (you know, like looking up bikini pictures), it’s pretty much exactly like the stupid Ice Bucket Challenge that was going around a couple years ago, only without the whole raising-money-for-a-good-cause thing. Anyway, normally, I think all these viral video trends are lame, and I get burnt out on them in under 24 hours. But then I saw the one Joanna Krupa did, and I take it all back. See, she was able to figure out the one thing this dumb trend has been missing: models and InstaHotties getting naked for attention. It’s genius!
You want to know what’s hands down the best thing about Instagram? Well, besides the fact that every girl with a halfway decent body puts up half-naked bikini pictures and calls themselves “models”… It’s that real hotties like Joanna Krupa here get to easily extend their 15 minutes of fame by posting tasty booty and cleavage shots too. And if that doesn’t make it the greatest invention of the 21st Century, I don’t know what does. Enjoy.
We don’t see Joanna Krupa nearly as often as I’d like these days — although if it were up to me, we’d be getting pictures like this a minimum of 2-3 times a day. So I’m just glad to see a new photoshoot from the former reality star-turned-cougar. According to my sources, it’s for treats! magazine, and here’s hoping these pictures do so well that they turn this into a monthly feature.
I’m going to be honest, I’d never heard of MOST Magazine before I came across these pictures, but anyone who can convince Joanna Krupa to get in front of a camera in a bikini is a true pro in my books. Because I know just how hard that can be… I’ve been trying for years, and I still haven’t gotten Joanna to reply to a single one of my tweets. But hey, maybe the eight hundred and third time’s the charm, right?
I know it’s been a long time since we’ve gotten any new hotness from Joanna Krupa, but you know how people say good things come to those who wait? Well, I guess that’s not complete BS, because this just might be the best thing I’ve seen all year. According to my sources, Joanna threw a big bikini party on a yacht in Miami and invited a whole bunch of dudes with video cameras, so either this is the opening to the world’s greatest sex tape, or she’s doing a new reality show. Either way, I can’t wait to watch the finished product…
In case you couldn’t tell from all the pumpkins all over the place, it’s Halloween tomorrow night. Which is great news if you’re a fan of seeing celebrities dressed up like sexy kittens or sexy cops or sexy… whatever the hell Joanna Krupa is dressed as here. I’ve been staring at this costume for a few minutes now, and even if I still don’t have a clue what she’s supposed to be, it’s already a strong contender for my favorite costume of the year.
Joanna Krupa is now in her cougar stage of her life. She’s 36-years-old and hotter than most girls half her age. I guess when you’re blessed with good genes, good surgeons and never really having to work, you can slow down the aging process drastically. Anyway, good for her, she won in life!
I don’t think I ever knew Joanna Krupa was a fellow dog lover before, but I guess that’s just one more thing me and my favorite reality star have in common. Because here she is walking a couple cute pooches for a Polish TV station to help get them adopted, and looking pretty damn cute herself. Although I’m just guessing here, but I have a feeling this isn’t what the producers meant when they first asked Joanna to take her puppies out on camera for a good cause…
I’m still not entirely clear on why Playboy throws an annual Car of the Year party (or why I’m never invited), but luckily, Joanna Krupa was, and she brought her killer cleavage along too. I’ve never been a big car guy, but after seeing my favorite former Housewife on the red carpet, I’d love to take Joanna out for a spin. …Just to be clear, I’m talking about sex. There’s no way I could focus on driving around cleavage like this. That’s just crazy.
I’m not really sure what Joanna Krupa is doing for work these days, but I have a feeling giving me monthly pants fires probably doesn’t pay the bills. Still, here she is out in LA showing why she’ll always be my all-time favorite reality star whether she’s working or not. And in case she’s looking for a new gig, I’ve got a show I think Joanna would be perfect for: it’s called the Real Housewives of My Mom’s Basement and we start filming as soon as I can convince one to show up. Call me!