I try not to pay too much attention to Katy Perry‘s music, unless it somehow involves her busting her funbags out for a performance. But I guess she must have a new single out or something, because I just saw her new video for “Bon Appetit.” And as far as I can tell, the song is about her getting groped by a bunch of chefs and then turning into a stripper? Maybe it makes more sense when you watch it with the sound on.
I guess Rosie O’Donnell Lite — sorry, Katy Perry — had to take a break from all that “hard work” she’s been doing lately. Because here she is relaxing at the beach with a few of her friends and/or personal assistants (and a professional photographer). It’s a tough life being a pop star/professional nobody! Anyway, if Katy ever really wants to get away from it all, I know a place that’s extremely private and that no one else ever goes: my bedroom in my mom’s basement. Call me!
I kind of lost interest in Katy Perry when she went all political during the election season. I don’t like hot chicks mixing with politics. It’s a turn off. What a girl thinks about BLM or the rain forest really doesn’t do much for the little man downstairs. That said, Katy may have redeemed herself in these pics. She looks like a hot lesbian who’s dying to be straight again! And to me that’s f$ckin’ hot.
Ever since I first noticed that Katy Perry looks like Rosie O’Donnell Lite, I can’t unsee it. Even in this pin-up girl inspired photoshoot she did for some cosmetics line. All I see is Rosie 2.0. But even though it’s too late for me and the Little Tuna, there’s still hope for you guys. Just try to focus on the positives, like Katy’s funbags and ignore the rest. Good luck.
I’m sorry to have to be the one to break the bad news here, but it looks like Katy Perry is beginning to transform into a Rosie O’Donnell clone. And if you don’t believe me, just check out these pictures from the Stella McCartney Collection Event in LA. I don’t know how I didn’t see this earlier, I guess I was always just too distracted by Katy’s giant funbags. But now I can’t unsee it. Quick, somebody find me a hot Instagram nobody stat! I need to clear this image out of my brain.
I didn’t watch the Golden Globes last night, as part of my ongoing boycott to force the show to finally include Best Bikini Performance as an official award, so I can’t tell you what Katy Perry was doing there, since last I checked, she wasn’t an actress. What I can tell you though is that, actress or not, she hands down won the biggest award of the night: the Tuna’s favorite Golden Globes. So congrats Katy, you can pick up your prize during a private ceremony in my mom’s basement any night this week.
According to my sources, some genius decided that Katy Perry deserved to get her handprints put in concrete on Hollywood Boulevard. And before you accuse me of being cynical and sarcastic, I’m dead serious. I approve 100%. So what if Katy’s biggest contribution to pop culture has been getting terrible songs stuck in our heads? As far as I’m concerned, any excuse to have her bending over for the cameras is a great idea. I mean, just look at all that… talent.
Normally, Halloween is blogger Christmas, encouraging all the hot nobodies out there to dress even sexier than usual. But for some reason, the costumes are pretty sad this year. Case in point: Katy Perry, who’ll bust out serious cleavage at the Kids’ Choice Awards, dressed up like a giant Cheeto. Hot. Anyway, here’s Katy, Jessica Alba, Maria Menounos, Sarah Hyland, Lady Gaga, Christina Milian, Laura James, Keenyah Hill, AJ and Aly Michalka, Amber Rose, Black China, Courteney Cox, Nicola Peltz, Lily Allen, Teresa Moore, Julie Henderson, Katherine McNamara, Dorothy Wang, Hanna Beth, Lily Lane, and Courtney Bingham Sixx. Try and enjoy, if you can. Because some of these costumes are pretty scary. And not in the good way either.
I guess we’ve got Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz tour to thank for really raising the bar when it comes to hot pop star world tours. Because now here’s Katy Perry trying to do her best Miley impression in Belfast. Not to nitpick or anything, because I’m definitely digging the show so far, but for next time, I’d say it could use a little more twerking, a little less clothing, and 100% less freaky cat costumes. It’s only opening night though, so luckily there’s still lots of time to work all the kinks out.
Just when I thought Miley Cyrus‘ Bangerz tour couldn’t get much better than this, she took a break from all the twerking to kiss Katy Perry during last night’s show in LA. Now that’s what I call some good tongue action! Although if you ask me, I thought it was a really big missed opportunity when Miley didn’t motorboat Katy for an encore.
Yeesh. So here’s Katy Perry at the Elle Style Awards being named Woman of the Year for some reason, and there must be something going around Hollywood, because she’s the latest hottie to chop off most of her hair (for some reason). And I don’t know about you guys, but I am not a fan. Thankfully, she’s still got those amazing chesticles to distract me though, and I’ve found that as long as I keep my eyes between Katy’s shoulders and her stomach, I can make this new look work for me.
I’m sure we all can agree that it’s time Katy Perry starts doing some daily deep knee bends because success has clearly gone straight to her ass. And not in a good way. You’d think with all that money she’d have a team of personal trainers to make sure that her figure stays top notch. I guess not. Anyway, I can’t look at this anymore. It’s too early in the morning.
In case you were too busy doing literally anything else to watch the Grammys last night, not to worry, because I’ve got the highlights for you guys today. And by highlights, I mean a recap of who caused the most pants fires, not who won the awards. And since Katy Perry is pretty much a lock to repeat in that category every year, here she is busting out at some post-Grammy party. Enjoy.