The 2015 Kelly Brook Calendar has arrived and here are a few scans of her perfection. I’m not sure if dudes actually order these things online since I’ve never bought a calendar in my life and I know they are targeting my demographic; dudes who live in their mom’s basement, single and broke! To me it’s a big waste of paper and besides I’d get bored of looking at the same Kelly Brook picture on my wall for a full month. Nonetheless, if she wants to send me a copy for free, I’ll hang it up on my wall or better yet put it next to my pillow when I go to sleep.
Hmm, I don’t know if it’s just me, but between her giant booty in these pictures and her even more massive than usual funbags, it looks like Kelly Brook‘s put on a little weight since the last time I saw her. Now don’t get me wrong, those are the two best areas for any celebrity to put on a couple pounds, but just to make sure this doesn’t get out of control, I think we should get Kelly on the Tuna Diet. A few 30-second sessions with yours truly a couple times a week ought to do it, I think. Well, for me at least. Call me!
In case you didn’t hear the good news (well, the good news for us, at least), Kelly Brook and that meathead fiancé of hers called it quits. Which means now Kelly’s officially back on the market, hence these great pictures of her booty in leggings. I think it’s the first good look at that booty of hers we’ve gotten in months. Anyway, according to my sources, Kelly’s house-hunting in these pictures. But until she finds a place, she’s always welcome to crash with me at my place. I don’t think my mom would mind.
I’ve got some pretty great news for you perverts today: according to my sources, Kelly Brook and that meathead fiancé of hers broke up. Which means there’s hope for us yet. 0.00001%, but hey, it’s still better than nothing. Anyway, that probably explains why Kelly was busting out the other day and here she is continuing the celebration with some killer gas station modeling. But I think I know what’ll really help Kelly get over the breakup: a rebound with someone who’s the complete opposite of her ex. So pasty, unfamous, and out-of-shape — I’m perfect!
Good news, everybody: it looks like the old Kelly Brook is finally back. And by that I mean the one who’s capable of giving me an instant pants fire just by walking down the sidewalk in a tight t-shirt. In fact, I don’t even think this shirt was see-through originally, I just think those massive funbags of Kelly’s are currently stretching it to its limits. And here’s hoping it can’t hold out for much longer. Because I don’t think I can either after this.
OMG! Kelly Brook has knocked it out of the park in this cleavage revealing dress. I know I’ve been making fun of her for gaining a little bit of weight while dating a super jacked fitness dude, but I think Kelly should gain another 20lbs because besides all that fat going to her booty, it’s creating two big monsters under her chin. I’m lovin’ it.
I’m sure now that you’ve seen Kelly Brook‘s 2015 calendar preview, you’re all searching the web, trying to find where to pre-ordering a copy. Good news. If you wait a few more months, someone will scan and upload it online for you to print and hang on your wall. That’s what I’ve done in the previous years, but ever since I ran out of printer ink, I’ve been too cheap to replace it.
I’ve always dreamed of having Kelly Brook over for a pool party, but for some reason, she hasn’t accepted my invitation yet. I know, I’m just as surprised as you are. I mean, who doesn’t want to share a kiddie pool with a Speedo-wearing blogger? Anyway, at least Kelly gave us the next best thing though: video of her shaking it to “Blurred Lines” in a swimsuit. If you ask me, it’s a pretty nice consolation prize. Enjoy.
It looks like all that working out Kelly Brook‘s been doing recently is starting to pay off, because I’ve got nothing but good things to say about these pictures of her walking around in LA. So enjoy these latest shots of one of my favorite busty Brits stretching out her shirt in the right way this time. Hmm, speaking of stretching out clothing, I think I’d better go do my wrist exercises. If I’ve learned anything from all these busty Kelly Brook pictures, it’s that it’s important to stick to a strict daily regimen.
I guess Kelly Brook didn’t like me calling her booty chunky last time, because according to my sources, she went to the gym twice in one day in these shots, which is just nuts. I don’t even go twice in one month. Anyway, at least this time Kelly’s looking meaty in a good way, but you’ve got to figure that anybody who gets photographed going to the gym as often as she does would be in better shape. It’s got to be the exercises she’s doing. And I keep telling you, a few personal training sessions with yours truly and she’ll be fit in no time. Oh well, hopefully one of these days a hottie will finally be desperate enough to listen to me.
For anybody wondering why I keep calling Kelly Brook‘s fiance such a bad influence, it’s not just because I’m jealous (although I am). It’s because of pictures like this. I mean, I don’t remember Kelly’s booty looking anywhere near this chunky when she was single, and it’s disappointing, considering she’s always been one of my favorite busty Brits. So I’d like to give Kelly a free year on the official Tuna exercise program as a wedding present. It involves doing bikini squats for the paps and 30-45 seconds of intense aerobic activity with yours truly 3 times a week. And I personally guarantee she’ll drop some of that weight after only the first 2 weeks — and by that I mean her fiance, obviously. The sooner we start, the better.