I know a bunch of “important” stuff happened over the weekend, between the inauguration and the protests and everything. But there was another major story you probably didn’t see on the news: professional Instagram supermodel/A-list hot nobody Kendall Jenner went out wearing a see-through shirt and some Miley Cyrus-level nipple pasties. But don’t worry, we’ll be following this very closely here at Hollywood Tuna, AKA with my nose an inch or two from my computer screen. So stay tuned for any new updates on this historic event.
I’ve got some good news. Looks like Kendall Jenner is taking a break from shooting all those dumb videos and lame photoshoots she’s been doing lately to get back to what’s really important: posting sexy bikini selfies on Instagram. It’s all about priorities, people. And I’m just glad Kendall’s finally got hers back on track. Enjoy.
I guess Kendall Jenner‘s parents must’ve bought her a new modeling contract as a Christmas present. Because according to my sources, Kendall’s working for La Perla now, and these are some of the pictures from her latest lingerie shoot for the company. And don’t get me wrong, they’re not bad, but she’s still not exactly supermodel material. Oh well. You get what you pay for, I guess.
So apparently Kendall Jenner pretended to get a huge snake tattoo on her ass for her latest V Magazine cover. I guess to show how “edgy” she is or something. But a snake? Come on. That’s so played out. if Kendall really wanted to make a statement, she should’ve gone with a big tuna instead. Unless she’s just saving that for the other cheek (and the February issue). I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
So, you know how we’re all supposed to pretend that Kendall Jenner is a huge A-list supermodel, and not just another rich kid with loaded parents? Well, she’s such a big “star” (AKA I bet her parents gave them a suitcase full of 20s) that Kendall managed to score herself a second LOVE Advent video. And it’s the big one, too: their official Christmas Day video. Only I just checked the views, and after 2 days and counting, they’re not even close to 250K yet. Meanwhile, a random video of some dude unboxing a smartphone already has almost 3 million. So much for Kendall’s star power, huh? Maybe they should’ve given Day 25 to that guy instead.
First it was Bella Hadid, now it’s Kendall Jenner‘s turn to do her own boring video for LOVE Magazine‘s annual hottie advent calendar. I guess instead of a Christmas theme this year, they decided to go with a rich kid/fake model theme? Anyway, I know we’re all supposed to pretend these girls are the future of fashion or whatever, but I’m sorry, they’re ruining the modeling industry. I thought these LOVE videos were supposed to be sexy, but I’m pretty sure the Little Tuna just fell asleep.
I thought Kendall Jenner was “done” with Instagram after she deleted her account last month. You know, now that she’s officially become a “real” model and everything. But I guess she came back, because this lingerie shot from the 2016 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show just popped up. And that’s not the only thing, if you catch my drift… I’m talking about my pants monster, just to be clear.
I know I like to rag on Kendall Jenner for her fake fashion photoshoots, but she finally did a new one that I actually like. And all it took was her pretending to take lingerie selfies in the mirror — AKA exactly what she does on Instagram whenever she’s not too busy fake modeling. I never paid much attention in English class (clearly), but I’m pretty sure that’s irony, right? Either way, it’s definitely hot, so enjoy.
I was all set to make fun of Kendall Jenner for her latest attempt at playing a real fashion model in Love Magazine‘s Fall/Winter issue. I mean, look at that stupid top hat! It’s like these fashion mags are just trolling us now. But anyway, then I saw Kendall at least went see-through in one of these pictures, and that’s always a good look on her. I just wish she’d realize that and stop trying to play dress-up and start playing to her strengths. Like the fact that she’s a 21-year-old hottie with a banging body. Because otherwise, this is all just a waste. Next!
When I first heard Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid were wearing body paint for a new photoshoot/lesbian fantasy for W Magazine, I got pretty excited. But then I checked out the pictures… And I don’t know what the hell these two think they’re doing, but they’re definitely not doing it right. I guess this is supposed to be “art” or something? But it’s just confusing the hell out of the Little Tuna.
I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record saying how Kendall Jenner only became a “real” model because of her rich parents, and how she’d just be another hot Insta-wannabe with any other last name. But then she does a photoshoot like this one for Allure Magazine and I’m sorry, I know Kendall’s super-cute but she’s just doing it all wrong. I mean, everyone knows real models don’t wear anything under their see-through dresses. It’s just Fashion Model 101. And Kendall should know better by now.
Here’s my favorite fake model Kendall Jenner pretending to be a real model in the latest issue of Vogue Spain. Sorry, Vogue España. Anyway, listen, even though Kendall’s the only one in that entire family that’s cute (and doesn’t make me want to throw up in my mouth), she’s still no model. It’d be like saying just because I’m the best athlete between me and my mom, I should get to play in the NFL. Life doesn’t work that way. Well, unless you’ve got filthy rich parents, I guess.
Here’s a whole bunch of professional hotties at some Target-sponsored launch party for New York Fashion Week: Emily Ratajkowski, Chanel Iman, Hilary Rhoda, Joan Smalls, Kendall Jenner, and Nicole Trunfio. Because everyone knows smoking hot supermodels definitely shop at Target and don’t just get all their clothes for free from designers and companies to wear on Instagram, right? Whatever, I’m willing to go along with it and pretend as long as they are.
So here’s four of the most useless “models” in the business pretending to be professional bikini models in Turks & Caicos: Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Hailey Baldwin and Bella Hadid. And if you ask me, Kylie’s looking a little chubby, but there’s really no excuse for her to be fat. She doesn’t have a real job! (And no, spending your rich parents’ money doesn’t count as work.) Anyway, Kendall’s the only halfway decent one here, so just try to enjoy that, I guess. And whatever you do, don’t think about how much hotter these pictures could’ve been with four real supermodels instead of these phonies…