Because Kim Kardashian can’t survive longer than a few days without attention, here’s the world’s most famous porn star going to town on a popsicle in a stars and stripes-themed photoshoot for Terry Richardson. Huh. I thought she was trying to make people forget about her sex tape, not remind us about it by reenacting it. But I’m sure this is working for some of you perverts out there, so enjoy the pants fireworks, you sickos.
I know some of you sickos out there still like Kim Kardashian, so this one’s for you: here’s Kim in the latest issue of GQ. And even though I still don’t get the appeal of this untalented porn star, I’ve got to admit, she does look halfway decent after a few hours’ worth of Photoshop. Whatever graphic design intern they had working around the clock on these deserves a raise.
Considering the fact that I’m always trying to convince up-and-coming models/actresses about the positive career benefits of leaked sex tapes, you’d think I’d be a bigger fan of Kim Kardashian and what a great role model she can be for wannabe hotties everywhere. And I guess it’s true. If anyone other than Kim was wearing this same dress, I’d probably be losing my mind. Instead, I’m losing my lunch. Oh well. Good thing I just found another slice of pizza under the couch.
I guess Kim Kardashian didn’t appreciate the fact that everybody was paying so much attention to Beyonce and her new album this weekend and got jealous, because here she is pulling one of her classic attention-seeking moves: taking her
kid giant funbags for a walk with the paps. And personally, I think it’s just gross. Not the fact that she’s pimping out her kid like this. That’s just the Kardashian family way. No, I meant the fact that the little brat’s totally blocking our view. Not cool!
So in case you didn’t hear, the world’s most famous porn star Kim Kardashian just released her latest topless selfie. And normally that wouldn’t be breaking news, since I’m pretty sure she’s contractually obligated to send out one a month, only this time she enlisted a real hottie to join her, A-list Instagram model Emily Ratajkowski. And here’s the caption Emily posted it with: “We are more than just our bodies, but that doesn’t mean we have to be shamed for them or our sexuality.” Now that’s real feminism! And these two have my full support. Or at least Emily, anyway. Sorry, Kim’s still gross.
I still don’t understand what you sickos see in this untalented porn star, but hey, if fat, annoying moms are one of your weird fetishes, who am I to judge, right? So here’s Kim Kardashian‘s latest “artsy” photoshoot, with her wearing nothing but body paint in the desert, and even if you’re not a Kim fan, you have to at least appreciate how much hard work went into this. I bet some poor intern had to spend days Photoshopping these.
Even though I think Kim Kardashian is completely gross, I know some of you perverts still have a thing for this untalented porn star. So here she is at the LACMA 2015 Art+Film Gala in LA, and I think this is the first time I’ve ever wished a red carpet outfit wasn’t see-through. Still, I’m sure the whole pregnant tranny look must be working for at least one or two of you sickos out there, so enjoy, I guess?
I hate the Kardashians. Besides Kendall Jenner, they all look like they belong in an ad for plastic surgery disasters. Just look at these pictures of them at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards. You’d think Kylie being the youngest would look the best, but she doesn’t! Anyway, I pray that these girls disappear as soon as possible.
Sorry guys, but I’ll never understand what you sickos see in Kim Kardashian. Here’s the chubby porn star/mom in the 10th anniversary issue of C California Style Magazine, whatever the hell that is. And even topless and Photoshopped, yeah, I still don’t get it. Oh well. At least I know some of you weirdos out there like this stuff, so enjoy, I guess?
I know a lot of you sickos out there still like Kim Kardashian, even though I can’t stand the porn star and her fat ass. But I also know there are people who like Blimpie subs, and that’s just as gross as far as I’m concerned. Basically, there’s no accounting for taste is what I’m saying. So I’m sure some of you will dig these pictures of Kim crawling around on a pile of dirt for System Magazine. And if that’s your thing, enjoy, I guess?
Even though I don’t get the appeal, I know a lot of you weirdos out there still like Kim Kardashian for some reason, so here’s a few pictures of the world’s most famous porn star getting topless for the June issue of Vogue Brazil. And according to my sources, Kim’s pregnant again, which means that fat ass of hers is going to get even fatter in a couple months. So there, now you sickos have something to look forward to. Enjoy these until then.
Here’s the world’s most famous porn star Kim Kardashian at a book signing for her new “book” Selfish, aka her Instagram page in hardcover. And I’m sorry, but I still just don’t get Kim’s appeal. Especially after these latest pictures. It’s like while Bruce Jenner is becoming a woman, Kim’s becoming a man. (Save the hate mail — I already know I’m a fat loser who should get out of my mom’s basement. She tells me at least once a day.)
This is great. While 99% of celebs cover their face from the paps in this exact same situation (including Kim’s sister Kendall Jenner just yesterday), instead here’s Kim Kardashian covering her booty, so the paparazzi can’t get their money shot. Now, I know a lot of you sickos out there actually enjoy this porn star’s fat ass, but trust me, we dodged a bullet here. Because it must be pretty rough if Kim’s covering up for once. We all know she isn’t usually this shy about showing off her big booty. Especially around cameras. So on behalf of me and my stomach, thanks Kim. We owe you one.