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Cougar Kylie Jenner Is Xtina

October 31st, 2016

It’s my favorite day of the year, Halloween, AKA Blogger Christmas, when all the hot nobodies dress even sluttier than usual and parade around for the paps. So here’s Kylie Jenner dressed like Christina Aguilera (you know, back when she was still hot). And I know I like to rag on Kylie, but I’ve gotta admit, this is actually a pretty good look for her. Plus, if nothing else, it’s nice to see her not pretending to be her porn star big sister for once.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMLt9mLhZQP/?taken-by=kyliejenner&hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMLZb_rBjMu/?taken-by=kyliejenner&hl=en

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 Kylie Jenner Pictures

Cougar Kylie Jenner’s Fake Looking Booty Is Gross Like Her Porn Star Sister

October 6th, 2016

Kylie Jenner

Kylie Jenner is looking more and more like her porn star sister these days, and here’s the teenage cougar showing off her giant Kim-like booty for the cameras. I guess having a gross, fake-looking booty just runs in the family. But luckily somehow it skipped Kendall, AKA the only one in this whole lame family that’s actually worth paying attention to these days. So let’s keep it that way and just move it along.

Kylie Jenner Pictures

The Most Useless Chicks In The World Prove Their Uselessness

August 22nd, 2016

So here’s four of the most useless “models” in the business pretending to be professional bikini models in Turks & Caicos: Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Hailey Baldwin and Bella Hadid. And if you ask me, Kylie’s looking a little chubby, but there’s really no excuse for her to be fat. She doesn’t have a real job! (And no, spending your rich parents’ money doesn’t count as work.) Anyway, Kendall’s the only halfway decent one here, so just try to enjoy that, I guess. And whatever you do, don’t think about how much hotter these pictures could’ve been with four real supermodels instead of these phonies…

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Turks A Caicos Turks A Caicos Turks A Caicos Turks A Caicos Turks A Caicos
Turks A Caicos

Cougar Kylie Jenner Is Ugly In A Swimsuit

August 16th, 2016

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJKhcWTAMY0/?tagged=kyliejenner

Kylie Jenner is starting to look more and more like her porn star big sister these days, and just to be clear, no, that’s not a compliment. Anyway, here’s the teenage cougar showing off her growing booty for attention in Turks and Caicos. At this rate, she’s going to out-booty Kim in another few weeks, and then maybe we can all finally stop paying attention to that overrated nobody. Fingers crossed!

August 12: Kylie on vacation in Turks and Caicos @kyliejenner #kyliejenner

A photo posted by kendallandkylieupdates (@kendalljenner20_1995) on

Ky and Ty ❤️ | 08.12.2016 Turks & Caicos @kyliejenner @kinggoldchains #kylie #kyliejenner #kyliefan #tyga #kyga

A photo posted by Kylie Jenner's Fun Page ❤️ (@kingkyliej.fan) on

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJKlc3rAaZa/?tagged=kyliejenner

Cougar Kylie Jenner Works Instagram And The Streets

April 26th, 2016

Kylie Jenner

Here’s professional Instagram model/aspiring cougar Kylie Jenner hard at work trying to convince the rest of us that she’s worth paying attention to. So first, she posted a couple bikini pictures online. Then she hit the streets in spandex with her personal photographers the paparazzi. Next time though, she should just cut out the second step and invite the paps to her pool party instead. They’ve got zooms lenses and know all the best angles.

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Photos: WENN.com

Old Lady Kylie Jenner Shares Her Crappy Skin Treatment

December 16th, 2015

Kylie Jenner

Here’s my third favorite Kardashian and teenage cougar Kylie Jenner celebrating being chosen as the new brand ambassador for some skin care company called Nip + Fab, and she’s looking pretty excited about it, if you ask me. Seriously, I’ve seen bigger smiles on Botox patients. Anyway, I’m not sure why these guys chose her as their spokesmodel, but ladies, if you want to look like you’re 18 going on 45 too, now you know Kylie’s secret.

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Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Old Lady Kylie Jenner Does A Photoshoot

December 11th, 2015

Kylie Jenner

Here’s everyone’s favorite teenage cougar Kylie Jenner doing another photoshoot, and I know this girl just turned 18 a couple months ago, but if I didn’t know better, I’d say she already looks like she’s going on 40. Anyway, I know Kylie’s trying really hard to be taken seriously as a real model these days, but maybe she’s just not going after the right companies. I wonder if Depends is looking for a new spokesmodel… It’s worth a shot.

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Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures

Photos: PacificCoastNews

Cougar Kylie Jenner’s Interview Magazine Photoshoot Is Lame And Too Try Hard

December 1st, 2015

Kylie Jenner

Look, I know that Kylie Jenner is trying really hard to become a professional model these days — aka her family’s forking over a fortune to get her more work — but after this photoshoot she did for Interview Magazine, I’m sorry, I just don’t think she’s got what it takes. I mean, the whole latex cougar sex doll thing isn’t a bad concept, but that’s not the issue. The problem’s her ugly face. And OK, maybe that was mean, but I just wish Kylie would go away so we can focus on people with actual hottie potential. Like her sister Kendall.

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Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures

Instagram Model Kendall Jenner And Her Cougar Sister Kylie At The AMAs

November 23rd, 2015

Kendall Jenner

In case you forgot, Kylie Jenner is trying to become a pop star, which is pretty much as big a joke as that porn star Kim trying to become an author. But I guess that’s why her and her big sister Kendall Jenner showed up to the American Music Awards last night. Knowing that family, I’m guessing she was there to pick up a trophy they paid for, like Best New Pop Star or a Lifetime Achievement Award. But since I don’t want to encourage Kylie’s music career, instead let’s focus on her real talent: looking and dressing like a cougar even though she’s only 18. Now that’s actually impressive.

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Kendall Jenner Pictures Kendall Jenner Pictures Kendall Jenner Pictures Kendall Jenner Pictures
Kendall Jenner Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Cougar Kylie Jenner Heads To A Studio! Please No Music Career!

October 27th, 2015

It’s already bad enough that Kendall Jenner is a “model” and Kim Kardashian is an “author,” but now it looks like little sister Kylie Jenner has decided she’s going to become a “pop star” now that she’s all grown up. Because here’s the teenage cougar heading into a studio in LA. And I don’t know if I can take it. But maybe we can start a Kickstarter or something to help get Kylie to not put out a CD? Email me if you’d be interested in making a donation. It’s for a good cause.

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Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures

Photos: PacificCoastNews

Instahoes Kylie Jenner and Hailey Baldwin Are Hard At Work

October 22nd, 2015

 Kylie Jenner and Hailey Baldwin

Now that Kylie Jenner and Hailey Baldwin are officially “professional models,” here they are hard at work walking the streets of New York for the paps. According to my sources, my favorite Baldwin and my second-favorite Jenner just finished shooting a photoshoot here, so I guess that means this counts as a double shift. Now that’s some impressive work ethic. I hope they’re getting overtime.

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Kylie Jenner and Hailey Baldwin Kylie Jenner and Hailey Baldwin

Photos: PacificCoastNews

Cougar Kylie Jenner’s Chunky Sugar Butt

September 17th, 2015

Here’s Kylie Jenner at the grand opening of Sugar Factory American Brasserie in New York, because I’m pretty sure there’s a law that says you have to have at least one Kardashian on a red carpet at all times. Anyway, I know I’m probably way too old for this teenage cougar (even if I didn’t make fun of her family all the time), but I’ve gotta say, her booty is looking like a real handful here, and I mean that in a good way.

» view all 12 photos

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Kiley Jenner Pictures Kiley Jenner Pictures Kiley Jenner Pictures Kiley Jenner Pictures Kiley Jenner Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Cougar Kylie Jenner Is Hard At Work

September 14th, 2015

Kylie Jenner

Here’s Kylie Jenner out in New York, and see, now this is why I call Kylie the youngest cougar in Hollywood. Because she dresses like she’s auditioning to become the next Top Real Housewife. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t mind all the cleavage. I just have a tough time believing Kylie’s only 18. Although I’d probably be having an even tougher time if I hadn’t been counting the days until her 18th birthday all those months. …Uh, let’s move along.

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Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures Kylie Jenner Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

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