There’s nothing I love more than finding a new British hottie to obsess over, and here’s my latest discovery: Jena Goldsack in one seriously hot photoshoot from photographer Natalie Cottee. And in case you’ve ever wondered how I pick which new hotties to feature on the site, it’s not by who sends me the most personalized bikini selfies (unfortunately). Instead, I just go by my gut. Which is what I call the Little Tuna. Which is what I call my… Well, you get the idea. Enjoy.
I’m pretty sure Alyssa Miller is still single these days, although if she keeps doing crazy-hot photoshoots like this one, she probably won’t be for much longer. So I think it’s time for the two of us to stop denying our obvious connection and make this relationship happen. I mean, it’s a win-win: I get to date a super-hot model, and she gets to date a pasty blogger and get a bunch more exposure on this site. Hmm… OK, so maybe that’s more of a win-draw, but still. I’m game if she is.
I just came across this seriously amazing set of lingerie pictures from Polish super-cutie Sandra Kubicka, and I’m gonna go ahead and assume this is a Valentine’s Day-themed shoot, only because I think “giving the Tuna a five-alarm pants fire” is probably a little too specific for a theme. Either way though, it’s one of the hottest things you’ll see all month. And that’s one thing I’m sure of. Enjoy.
I’ve got some good news: not only do I have a killer new lingerie shoot from Elisabeth Giolito to share with you perverts today, I did some digging and was able to find out a little more about the serious hottie. No, not where she’s from, or whether she’s pro-dating a blogger; I found something even better — her Instagram handle. See? Who says us bloggers don’t know how to do serious, investigative reporting? I’ll be expecting my Pulitzer any day now.
It’s been a while since we’ve gotten any new lingerie hotness from Tania Onishchenko, and you might think that I used the time to look up more information about the Russian model to pass along to you guys. Well, you’d be wrong. That might involve actual work. And besides, the only question I really want answered about Tania is whether or not she’s ever considered dating a blogger. Or at least sending topless pictures to one. The people deserve to know! So you guys enjoy these, while I keep trying to get to the bottom of this.
Just when I thought I couldn’t possible get any more jealous about not getting an invite to last night’s Leather and Laces Super Bowl Party, I come across these pictures of Brittany Mason. Now that’s how you follow a dress code. And before seeing these, I wouldn’t have thought a former beauty queen would have been able to figure out a way to stand out in a room full of world-class supermodels. But I’d say she definitely succeeded, and then some. So congratulations Brittany, you just won my Super Bowl Party MVP.
I know it sounds pretty easy to just sit around and post pictures of hotties in lingerie all day, but I’m telling you guys, this job is a lot harder than it looks. I mean, take this photoshoot from Polish model Monika Pietrasinska, for instance. Sure, it’s obvious that these pictures are hot enough to cause widespread spontaneous pants combustion, but it still took me a good 45 minutes just to get them up on the site. Granted, 44 of those minutes were spent drooling over them while trying to remember just what the hell it was I was supposed to be doing, but still…
Meet Isabell Klem. I haven’t been able to find out much about her, like where she’s from, or what her stance is on dating guys who live in their mom’s basements. But I do know that seeing this hottie in lingerie is enough to give me a pants fire in 3 seconds flat. And that’s good enough for me. I think I’m ready to get down on one knee and propose. I just need to figure out Isabell’s Twitter handle.
I have a tough time keeping up with all the different no-name hotties I post on this site, so I didn’t remember Terra Jo Wallace here right away. And unfortunately, saying she’s the one who looks crazy-hot in lingerie and ignored all 500 of my Twitter marriage proposals doesn’t exactly narrow it down. So I think I’d better spend a couple minutes (or hours) committing these pictures to memory, for next time. After all, this could be my future ex-wife we’re looking at, if she ever says yes.
I know that you guys look to me for all your latest news from the world of no-name hotties, but unfortunately, I don’t have a ton of info to share with you perverts about Gabriela Salles here. Well, besides the fact that this hot model is from Brazil and that she was clearly born to wear lingerie, but that doesn’t exactly narrow it down much. So it looks like you’re going to have to skip reading about Gabriela’s hobbies, hopes and dreams and just make do with this massive collection of seriously hot lingerie pictures instead. (You’re welcome.)
So unfortunately, I still haven’t been able to convince Sarah Stephens that dating a blogger could do wonders for her career, but on the brightside (for you guys, at least), the seriously underrated Aussie hottie delivered another impossibly hot photoshoot for Agent Provocateur. And I think after this latest one, Sarah might just be my favorite model the company’s ever had. And no, I’m not just saying that to try to convince her to sleep with me. I’m also saying it because I want these two to keep sending us more shoots like this.
The only thing I know about these pictures of Alyssa Hudson here is that A) they’re a recipe for an instant pants fire, B) they were shot by Jessica Wertheim, and C) I wish I’d taken them instead. Anyway, I tried to find out more about this up-and-coming hottie, but turns out she’s got a pretty common name, and 45 seconds of Googling is my limit. So instead of learning where Alyssa’s from or her favorite hobbies, you’re just going to have to make do with this seriously hot photoshoot. Somehow, I think you’ll manage.
Photos: Jessica Wertheim
As you guys know, I’ve been a fan of Mayra Suarez for a while now. And after this latest set of serious lingerie goodness, I’m convinced that the Mexican hottie should be named the next Victoria’s Secret Angel. Then again, I’m also convinced that Mayra should move into my mom’s basement with me, but I think the odds on that first one are probably a little more realistic.
I’m a big fan of Rachel Hilbert, even though I don’t know a whole lot about her, besides the fact that she’s a Victoria’s Secret model and looks banging in lingerie. And that alone probably puts her out of my league. Then again, considering Rachel isn’t a household name yet, maybe there’s still time. I just have to figure out a way to convince her that a high-profile fling with a blogger would be good for her career. So you guys keep these to yourselves while I go brainstorm.