I know Madison Beer only turned 18 like a month ago (well, technically 46 days, but who’s counting?), but she’s already a total pro at this whole hot nobody thing, wearing see-through tops to Coachella and showing off that sexy stomach of hers. And I’ve got to say, I’m impressed. If she can keep this up, she’s a lock for Tuna Rookie of the Year. And I’m going to need to buy another pack of Costco sweatpants. Yow.
According to my sources, these shots of Madison Beer wearing nothing but a bathrobe were taken for Vogue Germany, and not as part of some kind of special surprise present for her favorite blogger. But I guess it doesn’t really matter. Because either way, I plan on celebrating by locking myself in this Starbucks bathroom for 30-45 seconds. Enjoy!
Maybe you guys can help explain this to me, because I must’ve looked at these pictures 15 times now and I still can’t figure it. Here’s what I’ve got so far: former teenage troublemaker Madison Beer did a cover shoot for something called Nude Magazine, only as far as I can tell, she didn’t get naked in a single picture. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that’s false advertising.
Good news, my
fellow perverts loyal readers: turns out Madison Beer turned 18 a few weeks back, which means she’s not big trouble anymore. And more importantly, that you can start following her on Snapchat without worrying about the cops showing up. And trust me, with updates like this, you’re not going to want to miss another day. Enjoy.
I know you guys probably have a tough time keeping track of all the up-and-coming hotties out there, so consider this your weekly reminder that Madison Beer here is still big trouble for another few months (two to be exact, but who’s counting?). Anyway, I don’t know where her parents are, or how these paps aren’t getting visited by Chris Hansen for creeping on a 17-year-old at the beach, but I recommend we all just move it along. Nothing to see here (until March).
I know I’m probably the least-qualified person alive to be giving anyone parenting advice, but I was looking at these pictures of Madison Beer at the beach, and I honestly don’t understand who lets their 17-year-old daughter wear a bikini like this. (That’s right perverts, Madison’s still 17 for another few months.) Or who lets their daughter do a fake “candid” beach photoshoot with the paps before she turns 18. Won’t somebody think of
the children my readers? I don’t want any of you perverts getting in trouble here.
I don’t want any of my loyal readers getting into trouble (mostly because I don’t think you’re allowed to use the Internet from prison), so here’s a reminder that Madison Beer is still serious trouble for another few months. Which means you’re going to want to take a page from Madison here and just keep it moving. Next!
I know it’s been a couple months since I last did a post on Madison Beer, but I just double-checked and turns out, it’s still going to be another couple months until this teenage troublemaker turns 18. So you’re going to want to just move it along until then. But check back in again in 2017.
Somebody better warn this dude that Madison Beer is serious trouble, because I’m no legal expert, but I’m pretty sure a guy could get locked up for taking selfies with the teenage troublemaker if he’s not careful… In fact, we should all probably just move it along, just to be safe. I don’t want to be considered an accessory or anything.
After three straight days of bikini pictures from teenage troublemaker Madison Beer this week, I’m ready to call it: this chick is the next Bella Thorne. And by that I mean, she’s capable of getting you perverts locked up if you’re not careful. And no, saying you’re a big fan of her music won’t help. It’ll just make it worse. No one’s a fan of this girl’s music, except maybe her parents and her managers. So let’s all just move it along before one of us gets in trouble. Namely me. Next!
Unlike Victoria’s Secret model Vita Sidorkina, who looks like trouble even though she’s 21, Madison Beer has the opposite problem. But since I doubt that excuse will hold up in court, and I don’t feel like testing it, I suggest we all just move it along and ignore this teenage troublemaker for now, no matter how many beach trips she takes.
I always forget that Madison Beer is underage, but I just double-checked with my sources over at Google and she’s not legally allowed to drink for another 5 years. Which means you’re not allowed to look at her bikini pictures either, unless you want to spend your New Year’s Eve watching balls drop at your local penitentiary. Yeah, let’s just move it along…
With a name like Madison Beer, I always have trouble remembering that she’s still underage. But trust me, you’re going to want to keep it moving past these shots of the latest troublemaking pop star. Because forget beer, if she can’t even buy cigarettes without getting in trouble, you definitely can’t look at these pictures. Move it along, perverts.