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Micaela Schaefer And Her Sex Toys

September 29th, 2017

Micaela Schaefer

I know it’s been a little while since I’ve done a new post on Micaela Schaefer, so I figured we’d check back in with the world’s best-dressed hot nobody to see what she’s up to these days. And judging from these pictures, looks like she’s gone from posing naked in public to becoming an official spokesmodel for sex toys. I’m glad to see Micaela’s finally found her true calling.

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Micaela Schaefer

Micaela Schaefer Does Baywatch Good!

April 26th, 2017

Micaela Schaefer

I know it’s been a while since we’ve gotten any new updates from the world’s best-dressed hot nobody, so here’s Micaela Schaefer doing an unofficially licensed, Baywatch-themed photoshoot to promote some new “club tour” of hers. I tried to look up if she was doing any shows near me, but according to her manager, Micaela doesn’t play “perverts’ mom’s basements.” Which is a pretty dumb business decision, if you ask me. I bet that’s 99% of her fan base.

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Micaela Schaefer

Micaela Schaefer Is Still The Best Dressed Nobody

March 3rd, 2017

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve done any new posts on Micaela Schaefer, so I figured I’d creep research her Instagram to see what the German hottie’s been up to lately. And I’m happy to report that Micaela is definitely still living up to her title as the world’s best-dressed nobody. In fact, my future ex-wife even modeled the perfect outfit for our wedding. Enjoy.

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muus muus muus

Micaela Schaefer’s Dead Naked Baby Fashion

August 16th, 2016

Micaela Schaefer

So, uh, yeah… Normally, I’m a big fan of Micaela Schaefer‘s fashion choices. I don’t call her the world’s best dressed hot nobody for nothing. And here she is wearing one of my favorite outfits: a pair of those black censored bars. Unfortunately, she also decided to cover herself in fake blood and creepy dolls, which is kind of killing the mood (unless you’re a real sicko). According to my sources, it’s all part of some protest against… child labor, I think? Anyway, I still think this could’ve been a lot more effective without the dolls and blood. Well, for the Little Tuna, at least.

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Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer Knows How To Dine

July 6th, 2016

Micaela Schaefer

Here’s the world’s best-dressed nobody Micaela Schaefer wearing one of my favorite outfits: one of those black censored bars. According to my sources, it’s all to promote some German restaurant that I guess is running a promotion where you get a free meal if you take your clothes off. I’m not sure how that doesn’t violate all the health codes ever created, but as someone who’s been fighting against those prude “no pants, no service” policies for years, I’m a big supporter.

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Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer’s Sweet Lesbo Show

June 20th, 2016

Here’s my all-time favorite best-dressed hottie Micaela Schaefer celebrating the Euro Cup the only way she knows how: by making out with some other hot nobody for the cameras at a party in Germany. Now personally, I think Micaela’s a little overdressed for the occasion, but otherwise, it’s enough to make me wish they held the Euro Cup a lot more frequently than once every four years. Enjoy.

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Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer Is Still the Best Dressed

June 7th, 2016

Micaela Schaefer

In case you don’t follow soccer, UEFA Euro 2016 is starting up later this week. And the world’s best-dressed nobody Micaela Schaefer decided to celebrate the upcoming tournament in the best possible way: by getting topless alongside a bunch of her fellow hot nobodies in bikinis. Anyway, here’s where I’d make some hilarious lame joke about balls, but I’m currently having a little trouble forming coherent sentences. Hell, we’re lucky I was able to remember how to type long enough to finish this post. So you just enjoy while I go recover.

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Micaela Schaefer Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer Forgot Halloween Is In October

February 11th, 2016

Micaela Schaefer

OK, so usually I like it when the world’s best-dressed hot nobody Micaela Schaefer shows up in nothing but body paint and a thong to “celebrate” whatever random holiday is coming up next on the calendar. But I’m sorry, all these extra painted-on eyes are seriously freaking me out. Are we sure Micaela knows it’s Valentine’s Day this Sunday, and not Halloween? Oh well. At least on the plus side, I’m sure this makes it a whole lot easier to look Micaela in the eyes when she’s talking to you…

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Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer Forgot To Dress To Please

February 3rd, 2016

Micaela Schaefer

Here’s Germany’s #1 greatest tourist attraction Micaela Schaefer at the Zoolander 2 premiere in Berlin, and I know it’s a fancy movie premiere and all that, but I have to say, I’m a little disappointed in Micaela’s choice of outfit here. Where’s the lingerie, or the body paint? I mean, I guess maybe the dress code said black tie, but in that case, why not wear some of those classy black censored bars instead? Those go with everything.

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Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer Knows How To Dress

December 22nd, 2015

Micaela Schaefer

OK, so I know you’re probably not used to seeing Micaela Schaefer wearing this much clothing, but take a few deep breaths. We’ll get through this difficult time together. According to my sources, Micaela’s working at a German lingerie store for a photo-op in these shots. And look on the bright side, even when the world’s best-dressed hot nobody shows up somewhere overdressed, she’s still wearing half the clothes of your average hottie. So enjoy.

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Micaela Schaefer Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

I Know What That Baby Wants For Christmas!

December 16th, 2015

Micaela Schaefer

Looks like Christmas came early this year for a few lucky Germans, because here’s our #1 best-dressed hot nobody of all-time Micaela Schaefer drawing a crowd in one of her best outfits yet for a Christmas-themed photoshoot. And no, I’m not sure why they got a baby involved either. If they wanted someone to drool all over themselves and be incapable of speech around Micaela, they could’ve just asked me instead.

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Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer is Still The Best Dressed

December 4th, 2015

Micaela Schaefer

According to my sources, my current favorite German Micaela Schaefer is at some party at a hair salon in these shots. But personally, I prefer to think this is just how she walks around all the time. Although actually, this outfit is probably a little conservative for our #1 best-dressed hot nobody. Where’s the body paint and black censored bars? I guess now that it’s starting to get cold out Micaela has to cover up more. What a shame.

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Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer Goes Hairless For Halloween

October 29th, 2015

Micaela Schaefer

Normally, I’m a big fan of Micaela Schaefer‘s holiday “outfits”, but I’m not so sure about this latest one. And no, I don’t mean because of the bald cap — I’m sure that’s doing the trick for at least some of you perverts out there. I mean the fact that she’s wearing entirely too much body paint for this skeleton costume. What happened to a couple tiny pumpkin pasties and calling it a day? Or better yet, nothing but a pair of those black, censored bars. Now that’d be really scary.

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Photos: WENN.com

Micaela Schaefer Is The Greatest Spokesmodel Ever

October 15th, 2015

Micaela Schaefer

Here’s the best-dressed hot nobody of all-time Micaela Schaefer at another one of her awesome promotional events in Germany somewhere. Now, as per usual, I have absolutely no clue what Micaela is promoting with this outfit, all I know is, I suddenly have an overwhelming desire to take out my wallet and ask how much. Enjoy.

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Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures Micaela Schaefer Pictures

Photos: WENN.com

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