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Kate Tyga Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

April 4th, 2017

Kate Tyga

I’ve been doing this job a long time now, so trust me, when I tell you guys you’re going to love one of my new Instagram finds, you might as well start shopping for wedding rings. So I have a pretty good feeling you guys are going to enjoy my latest discovery, Russian model Kate Tyga. But just FYI, you’re going to have to find your own online dream wife, because I already called dibs on Kate first.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPmbHJBAagj/?taken-by=kate_tyga

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Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures
Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures Kate Tyga Pictures

Annet Reinen Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

March 31st, 2017

Annet Reinen

I really need to start learning Russian. And not just because it might land me a sweet government job — anyone know if there’s a Secretary of Blogging? But see, I also need to be able to talk to all these Russian InstaHotties I keep stumbling across. Anyway, here’s my latest discovery, Annet Reinen. And if anyone knows how to say “Will you sleep with me for a green card?” in Russian, it’d be much appreciated.

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Annet Reinen Pictures Annet Reinen Pictures Annet Reinen Pictures Annet Reinen Pictures Annet Reinen Pictures
Annet Reinen Pictures Annet Reinen Pictures Annet Reinen Pictures Annet Reinen Pictures
Annet Reinen Pictures

Anella Miller Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

March 22nd, 2017

Anella Miller

As you know, I’m a big fan of the Russian Instagram models. They are all hot because they all look the same. I think they probably have the same plastic surgeons. Anyway, meet Anella Miller. Judging by her Instagram page, she seems expensive, but I’m sure once I reach my goal of 50 million dollars, I can own her. I’m only $49 999 999 away from that target, but I’m sure if I start a GoFundMe page, I can achieve that goal in 30 days.

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Aanella Miller Aanella Miller Aanella Miller Aanella Miller Aanella Miller
Aanella Miller Aanella Miller Aanella Miller Aanella Miller Aanella Miller

Yuliya Ekaterinburg Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

March 6th, 2017

Yuliya Ekaterinburg

I know a lot of you cynics out there don’t believe in love at first sight, but luckily me and the Little Tuna are little more romantic than that. And after checking out a few pictures from my latest Russian Instagram find Yuliya Ekaterinburg, I think I’m definitely in love. Or at least the Little Tuna is anyway. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that the quickest way to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach, it’s through his pants.

A post shared by Yuliya (@yuliyabb) on

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Yuliya Ekaterinburg Yuliya Ekaterinburg Yuliya Ekaterinburg Yuliya Ekaterinburg
Yuliya Ekaterinburg Yuliya Ekaterinburg Yuliya Ekaterinburg Yuliya Ekaterinburg Yuliya Ekaterinburg
Yuliya Ekaterinburg

Alena Mills Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

March 2nd, 2017

Alena Mills

I don’t know if you guys have been following the news much, but there’s been a whole lot of talk about “inappropriate contact” with Russians lately. And I know that’s not great if you’re a politician. Treason, or whatever. But what about if you’re a blogger? Because from where I’m sitting, I’d sign up for some inappropriate contact with Alena Mills here in a split-second. Yow!

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Alena Mills Alena Mills Alena Mills Alena Mills
Alena Mills Alena Mills Alena Mills Alena Mills Alena Mills
Alena Mills

Valeria Boyko Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

February 27th, 2017

Valeria Boyko

So I know that usually whenever I introduce you guys to a new Insta-hottie, I can’t tell you much you can’t already see with your own eyes. But I actually did more than 30 seconds worth of research on Valeria Boyko here (a new personal best!). And it turns out this Ukrainian hottie is a former ballerina and now works as a TV host/model. Oh, and she’s also married to some Ukrainian soccer star, but I’m pretty sure that won’t last long once she finds out she’s caught the Tuna’s eye. …Stop laughing. That wasn’t supposed to be a punchline.

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Valeria Boyko Valeria Boyko Valeria Boyko Valeria Boyko Valeria Boyko
Valeria Boyko Valeria Boyko Valeria Boyko Valeria Boyko
Valeria Boyko

Nyta Chernova Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

February 24th, 2017

Nyta Chernova

I know I’ve been posting a lot of Russian Insta-hotties lately, but here’s one for you nerds today: Nyta Chernova. I’m not sure what you guys are going to dig more, this awesome Instagram video of Nyta struggling to squeeze a pair of jeans over her killer booty or the fact that a woman this hot actually knows who Batman is. But either way, just please try to enjoy it, instead of sending both of us hate mail about how Superman’s “obviously better.”

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Nyta Chernova Nyta Chernova Nyta Chernova Nyta Chernova Nyta Chernova
Nyta Chernova Nyta Chernova Nyta Chernova Nyta Chernova
Nyta Chernova

Diana Melison Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

February 23rd, 2017

Diana Melison

I don’t know much about Diana Melison here — well, besides the obvious, like the fact that she’s a walking five-alarm pants fire. But I managed to tear myself away from “researching” her Instagram long enough to learn that the Russian hottie’s also an actress. And that’s great news, because I just came up with the perfect movie idea for her. See, it’s about a Russian model who falls in love with a pasty American blogger, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the next great Hollywood romance. Like 50 Shades. Only good. Call me!

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Diana Melison Diana Melison Diana Melison Diana Melison
Diana Melison Diana Melison Diana Melison Diana Melison Diana Melison
Diana Melison

Anastasia Martzipanova Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

February 16th, 2017

Anastasia Martzipanova

I know it probably feels like I say this every day at this point, but this time, I mean it: I just found my new favorite Russian. Her name’s Anastasia Martzipanova, and after a quick 30-45 second scroll through her Instagram, I’m convinced that the two of us are meant to be together. She’s got everything I look for in a woman: a great booty, a terrific set of funbags, and yeah, that’s pretty much it. What more do you really need?

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Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova
Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova Anastasia Martzipanova

Reshetova Anastasia Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

February 14th, 2017

Reshetova Anastasia

In case any of you guys are wondering what to get your favorite bikini blogger this Valentine’s Day, here’s a hint: I just found a new Russian hottie in Reshetova Anastasia and I’m 99% sure I’m in love. My palms are all sweaty, my heart’s racing and my pants are overheating. If that’s not love, then I guess I don’t know what is. Anyway, I don’t know what the shipping and handling is on a mail-order bride, but if you guys all chip in, I bet we could afford it.

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Reshetova Anastasia Reshetova Anastasia Reshetova Anastasia Reshetova Anastasia
Reshetova Anastasia Reshetova Anastasia Reshetova Anastasia Reshetova Anastasia Reshetova Anastasia
Reshetova Anastasia

Lily Ermak Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

February 9th, 2017

In case you guys haven’t noticed, I’ve been going through a real busty Russian phase lately. And here’s my latest find: Lily Ermak. Now, according to my research, Lily’s already married and has a kid, which means I might have a little more trouble convincing her to marry/divorce me. But considering I only had a 0.0001% chance anyway, I’m not sweating it too much. Enjoy.

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lily ermak lily ermak lily ermak lily ermak
lily ermak lily ermak lily ermak lily ermak lily ermak
lily ermak

Masha Maximova Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

February 3rd, 2017

Masha Maximova

Meet Masha Maximova. Pretty much the only things I can tell you guys about this hottie is that she’s Russian and that her Instagram is packed with so much hotness, it’s liable to make your phone catch on fire. Or at least your pants region, anyway. But really, how much more do you need to know? We’ve already covered all the important stuff. So just go ahead and enjoy Masha and that perfect Russian booty of hers.

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masha maximova masha maximova masha maximova masha maximova masha maximova
masha maximova masha maximova masha maximova masha maximova
masha maximova
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