Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% here for Selena Gomez promoting her new single by dropping sexy selfies and new photoshoots on an almost daily basis. But if she wants to get serious about this whole self-promotion thing, someone’s got to get her a much better camera. Because this latest bikini picture is blurry AF. Luckily, I know someone whose phone takes great pictures and doesn’t have anything better to do than follow Selena around 24/7… Hint, hint. (It’s me.)
I know I’ve made fun of Selena Gomez and her “music” “career” in the past, but ever since she dropped her newest single, we’ve been getting practically a nonstop string of hotness from the wannabe pop star. Like this latest photoshoot she did for InStyle. So now I’m thinking Selena needs to get back in the studio ASAP so she can keep this hot streak going. Well, as soon as she’s done in the pool, of course.
Looks like Selena Gomez released a bunch of private candid Polaroids, I guess to promote her new single or something. And before you rush to hit that zoom button, no, none of them are as “private” as you might’ve hoped. So to make up for any eye strain you might’ve incurred as a result, I’ve included a GIF of Selena air humping on stage as a bonus. No zooming in necessary. (You’re welcome.)
Turns out, that video of Selena Gomez lip-synching along to her new single “Fetish” wasn’t the actual music video for the song. And thank God, because the real one is so, so much better. I can’t speak to the song itself, because I still haven’t taken this thing off mute, but otherwise, it’s got everything I look for in a good video: a hot pop star with nippleitis feeling herself up and… yeah, nevermind. That’s pretty much all me and the Little Tuna need. Enjoy!
According to my sources over at Google, Selena Gomez turned 25 over the weekend. And apparently she celebrated by getting a bunch of her cute friends together to hit some winery. (I’d been hoping for the trampoline park, but oh well…) Anyway, I’d like to wish Selena a happy birthday. But she’d better be careful now that she’s getting into her hottie old age years. “Birthday in wine country” is definitely entering cougar territory.
Remember those Selena Gomez “Fetish” pictures I had for you guys last week? Well, now I’ve got the full music video for you below. And I don’t get what any of this has to do with a smoking car or a pop star with a serious case of nippelitis, because all it is is Selena’s mouth lip-syncing the words to the song for 3 minutes. But I’m sure that’s probably a fetish for at least a few of you weirdos out there, so enjoy, I guess.
I’m not sure what’s up with Selena Gomez and all the artsy photoshoots lately, but I guess she must have a new album coming out soon or something. But honestly, if Selena really wants to generate some more attention for herself, she doesn’t need to go to all this trouble. All she needs is a sleazy blogger with a iPhone and an Internet connection to “accidentally” “leak” some dirty pictures. And luckily, I know just the guy. Call me!
According to my sources, “Fetish” is apparently the name of Selena Gomez‘s new single. Although that’s pretty convenient, because it also describes the fixation I’ve got for hot pop stars coming down with a serious case of nippleitis in the middle of summer. Here’s hoping Selena does an encore.
I guess Selena Gomez is technically supposed to be modeling Coach bags in this latest photoshoot of hers. And I don’t know about you guys, but right now, the only thing I’m feeling the urge to run out and buy is more Kleenex and another Costco-pack of Kirkland sweatpants. Because I’m going to be out of both in approximately 30-45 seconds.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m in a good mood today. I mean, why not? The weather’s nice, the sun’s out, and so is Selena Gomez‘s super-cute cleavage. And that’s pretty much a recipe for my perfect day. The only thing that could make this any better is if Selena would finally take me up on my offer to go out motorboating. I’m telling you, the weather’s perfect for it.
If you’ve been paying any attention to the site the past few months, you probably don’t need me to remind you how hot Selena Gomez has been looking. She’s gone from boring pop star to pants-meltingly hot Instagram thirst trap practically overnight. And best of all, now it looks like she’s close to mastering every professional Insta-hottie’s signature move: sexy tongue action. I’m telling you guys, if Selena keeps practicing, she could become an all-time great. We’re talking Hottie Hall of Fame here.
I don’t know what’s gotten into Selena Gomez lately. Who knows, maybe she finally read all those posts I wrote saying how she needed to up her hotness game. There’s always a first time for everything, right? Anyway, point is, between spreading it on Snapchat and going full see-through, Selena’s finally starting to live up to her hottie potential these days. And it’s about damn time. Enjoy!
That’s one heck of a spread. Good job Selena!!!
I’m not sure if this picture of Selena Gomez taking a nipple-tastic picture with one very, very, very, very lucky fan is new, or if it’s even real, for that matter. But I do know this: I’d be making the exact same face as that girl if I was taking this picture with Selena. Only there’s no way my eyes would be looking at the camera. Yow!