I’m still waiting for Shay Mitchell to take me up on my potentially very lucrative
sex tape business offer, and I’m not really sure what the hold-up is. I guess they’re still making that Pretty Little Liars show, but that crap’s gotta be ending soon, and she’s going to be looking for work again. And maybe that offer won’t be on the table anymore. …Just kidding. As long as her super-cute cleavage is still looking this good, the offer’ll stand. Call me!