Last time I did a post on Tanya Mityushina, I said she was one of the hottest women on the planet. But just in case any of you cynics out there didn’t believe me, or thought I was just saying that to try to score a date with the Russian super-hottie, well, the jokes on you guys, because even after all the nice things I’ve written about her, Tanya still doesn’t even know I exist. Wait. That doesn’t sound right… Whatever. Just enjoy the latest bikini shoot from this smoking hot model, you jerks.
I know I say this about a lot of hotties, but for my money, Tanya Mityushina here is one of the hottest women on the planet. Or at least the hottest one in Russia anyway. And before you guys say I’m just making this stuff up to try to get Tanya to marry/divorce me and don’t have any real, hard evidence to back that up, well, you’re probably right… But just check out these pictures below and try telling me I’m wrong. Hell, try telling me anything. Because I’m pretty sure you’ll be unable to speak or form a coherent sentence for a good 20 minutes after this. Enjoy!
Because two hotties are always better than one, here’s a pair of super-hot supermodels at the Mothers and Daughters premiere in LA: Natalie Pack and Tanya Mityushina. I never knew these two were into movies before, but now that I do, I think the three of us should do a movie night or something in my mom’s basement. We can watch all the old classics, like Assablanca, A Clockwork Orgy and MILF Party VIII. I’ll clear some pizza boxes off my futon just in case.
The SI hotness just keeps coming today. This time, it’s Russian hottie Tanya Mityushina at a Sports Illustrated fan event in Miami. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe Tanya’s wearing a bikini under there. Finally! It only took all damn week. Still, I’m glad to see the mag giving the fans what they want: more pictures of their smoking hot models in bikinis. Although to be fair, that’s pretty much the only thing I want 24/7, 365 days a year…
The good news: Sports Illustrated keeps throwing hottie-filled parties for the launch of their 2016 Swimsuit Issue; this time, it was a BBQ at some hotel in Miami. And Erin Heatherton, Gigi Hadid, Lily Aldridge, Hailey Clauson, Chrissy Teigen, Hannah Ferguson, Tanya Mityushina, Kate Bock, Emily DiDonato, Kelly Rohrbach, Chanel Iman, Sofia Resing, Hannah Davis, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, Bo Krsmanovic, and Barbara Palvin all showed up. Except once again, nobody wore a bikini. Or body paint. Or even a one piece! I’m pretty sure they’re just screwing with me at this point. And I don’t appreciate it.
Sports Illustrated threw a big party to celebrate their 2016 Swimsuit Issue last night, and invited a whole bunch of serious hotties. Including Bo Krsmanovic, Kelly Rohrbach, Irina Shayk, Hannah Davis, Samantha Hoopes, Chanel Iman, Hannah Ferguson, Barbara Palvin, Lily Aldridge, Hailey Clauson, Erin Heatherton, Nina Agdal, Kate Bock, Tanya Mityushina, Megan Williams, Kyra Santoro, Emily DiDonato, and Daniela Lopez Osorio. The only problem? You know, besides the fact that they didn’t also invite me and the Little Tuna? That they didn’t make it a pool party instead. Now that really would’ve taken this night to the next level…
In case you missed it, today’s one of my favorite holidays of the year. No, I’m not talking about President’s Day. Today’s the day Sports Illustrated officially releases the pictures from their 2016 Swimsuit Issue. And here’s a few of my favorites from hotties Hannah Ferguson, Barbara Palvin, Chanel Iman, Nina Agdal, Kate Bock, Samantha Hoopes, Gigi Hadid, Tanya Mityushina, Erin Heatherton, Rose Bertram, Kelly Rohrbach, Irina Shayk, Bo Krsmanovic, Lily Aldridge, Emily DiDonato. If you ask me, Hannah should’ve gotten the cover just based on that killer split. Yow! Now that’s something actually worth celebrating. Sorry, George Washington.
I pretty much fell in love with Russian model Tanya Mityushina here the very first time I saw her, and OK, so I know I say that about a lot of hotties, but whatever. That doesn’t make our love any less real. Well, except for the fact that she probably still doesn’t know I exist. Anyway, I haven’t seen Tanya in a while, but then she showed up to DIRECTV’s Dark Places premiere looking red hot, and all those old feelings came flooding back… to my pants region. And if that’s not true love, then I guess I don’t know what is.
It certainly took long enough, but we finally got more lingerie hotness from Tanya Mityushina, like I’ve been asking for. Honestly, with a body this good, I don’t understand why we don’t see photoshoots from this Russian hottie on a regular basis. Or why she hasn’t signed with a big company like Victoria’s Secret yet. Oh well, I guess until the rest of the world get their act together and stops sleeping on this super-hottie, if I want my weekly lingerie updates from Tanya, I’ll just have to go straight to the source: her Instagram. And/or somehow convince her to send them to my email on a regular basis. Wish me luck.
After that awesome first impression Russian hottie Tanya Mityushina made on us last year, I can’t believe it’s taken this long to get more pictures of her. I blame the fashion industry for depriving us of months of crazy hot lingerie and bikini photoshoots like this one here. So in order for Tanya to realize her true potential, I think she needs the kind of experienced, professional guidance only a blogger can give. I recommend a strict regimen of Instagram lingerie selfies 3-5 times a week and a monthly beach trip, and I guarantee Tanya’s career will see instant results — and so will my pants region, for that matter.
Somebody must have been holding out on me or something, because I have no idea why I’ve never seen this Tanya Mityushina chick before. With lingerie shoots this smoking hot, I should’ve known about this Russian bombshell months ago. The two of us could’ve been in a very fulfilling Twitter relationship by now. Oh well, I guess I’d better start making up for lost time. So Tanya, will you marry me?